Busted Halo » Carolyn J. Martone

Exercising with Ignatius: Part 2

Carolyn J. Martone — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 07:05:39 +0000

Busted Halo contributor Carolyn Martone goes on silent retreat. Find out what happens during the final days of her eight days in silence and reflection at Linwood Spiritual Center in Rhinebeck, N.Y. What happened days one through four? Read Part 1. Day five “Why don’t you go and rest by the pool?” my spiritual director [...]

Exercising with Ignatius: Part 1

Carolyn J. Martone — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 07:05:22 +0000

Ten years ago, if anyone told me I would attend a silent retreat to start the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, I would have thought it more likely that I run naked through the Mission in San Francisco, where I lived. Back then I was in my twenties, performing in theaters and comedy clubs. The [...]

It’s Not Easy Being Green

Carolyn J. Martone — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 19:01:49 +0000

It’s not easy being green It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things And people tend to pass you over ’cause you’re Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water Or stars in the sky But green’s the color of spring And green can be cool and friendly-like And green can [...]

A Very Shiksa Hanukkah

Carolyn J. Martone — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 22:36:19 +0000

Days 8 – 12: Highlights from Hanukkah “For a man to be sure of his road, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.” – St. John of the Cross Two weeks ago, I embarked on an uncertain experience with no clue as to where I was going. My self-imposed “menorah mission”: To [...]

Tradition

Carolyn J. Martone — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 02:43:59 +0000

Days Six and Seven of Hanukkah Author Yaakov Astor states, “Chanukah ideally is meant to instill in us an image of what we can be — no matter how far from that image we may begin.” I thought back to high school, a time when all I wanted to be was an actor. I have [...]

The “Hanukkah Happening”

Carolyn J. Martone — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 08:04:36 +0000

Fifth Day of Hanukkah Sunday morning, 9 a.m.: I awake to a knock on my door. “I have some bad news, Carolyn.” It was my housemate Claire. For months, I’ve been afraid that the house I live in and love would finally sell. In my adult life, I’ve moved more times than the Israelites; I [...]

Shabbat

Carolyn J. Martone — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 04:52:00 +0000

Fourth Day of Hanukkah Haverim, In keeping with yesterday’s “Musings on Menorahs,” here is the photo of the Noah’s Arc menorah that I’ve adopted as my own this Hanukkah. I learned that the world’s largest menorah is at Fifth Avenue and 59th Street in Manhattan. It will be kindled at 5:30 p.m. each of the [...]

Musings on Menorahs

Carolyn J. Martone — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 22:13:50 +0000

Second Night/Third Morning of Hanukkah On the third day of Hanukkah, my housemate gave to me… a Menorah that she got for free! Okay, that was a terrible attempt to tweak the lyrics of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” to fit this situation. I wasn’t expecting to be the recipient of any Hanukkah gifts, but [...]

Gilda Means Golden

Carolyn J. Martone — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 19:23:46 +0000

“Hanukkah is the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents we have eight crazy nights…” Adam Sandler, “Chanukah Song” It’s not coincidence that much of what I know about Hanukkah (not much) is from Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song” performed on Saturday Night Live. The show and many of the comedians whose careers were [...]

Saturday in the Park

Carolyn J. Martone — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:05:44 +0000

Sitting on a packed Greyhound bus on Friday night, somewhere between Port Authority and Union Station, I panicked. I couldn't breathe; my cell phone was about to die. I was even thankful that the guy next to me was asleep and drooling; that was better than him witnessing the unmedicated panic attack of the person sitting beside him -- a bipartisan, underemployed thirtysomething who had never been to a rally before. I'm claustrophobic and anxious about crowds, germs and public transportation. I'm as leery of the concept of Port-O-Potties as I am about attending events that require them. Why attend the "Rally to Restore Sanity" if it meant forsaking my own?

The thing is, I had waited such a long time for Saturday.

Those of us with panic disorder generally like to know what we're in for beforehand. On the way to D.C., no one knew. Was this undefined and/or unprecedented rally going to be political or sarcastic?

Every possible scenario came to mind. I envisioned being screamed at by officers on horseback or trampled upon by angry hipsters wearing ironic Halloween costumes (the guy stapling Lipton Tea bags to his pea coat comes to mind). I imagined holistic hippies selling vegan muffins and self-published copies of Eat, Pray, Shop. I pictured people screaming at each other, being handcuffed and thrown against police cars, and a media circus capturing it all on camera. Cops meets Saturday Night Live meets C-SPAN.

Guess what? None of these fears were realized.

Adopting Assisi

Carolyn J. Martone — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 05:05:53 +0000

“God is beauty.” — St. Francis of Assisi Here’s what I expected to be able to rightfully call my own by the age of 35: (1) an 18th-century farmhouse in the country and a corner brownstone apartment in either the Upper West Side or the East Village in New York City; (2) no less than [...]

Busted by Oprah

Carolyn J. Martone — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 08:00:45 +0000

I’ve never been to an AA meeting, but feel like the mantra is appropriate here in admitting to the world, “My name is Carolyn and I am a recovering Oprah-holic.” Though I was able to put the brakes on my problem before it became an addiction, I was headed in that direction two years ago [...]

Living and Dying with Tuck Everlasting

Carolyn J. Martone — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:01:57 +0000

For Kathleen Erin Daly The outside cover of Natalie Babbit’s 1975 novel Tuck Everlasting poses just one question — what would you do if you could live forever? I asked myself this very question in1982, a complicated time when I was ten and on an impossible mission to understand not only death, but the litany [...]

Mary Was Here

Carolyn J. Martone — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 05:00:25 +0000

When I was ten, my favorite movie was Mary Poppins. As it begins, British siblings Jane and Michael Banks write an advertisement listing their requirements for a new nanny. Their father — a curmudgeon who prefers investment banking to parenting — shreds the heartfelt proposal, throwing it in the fireplace and into infinity. His children’s [...]

M.E. and Me

Carolyn J. Martone — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:12:57 +0000

Growing up, I was mortified by my parents’ public displays of religion. I’m still convinced that from the years of 1982 to 1986 my parents were part of a cult; others called it “Marriage Encounter.” One fateful Friday afternoon in 1980, they packed one suitcase and prepared to leave for the first of many retreat [...]