Busted Halo
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Joe Marchelewski :
3 article(s)

Joe Marchelewski writes from Los Angeles.
January 29th, 2007
...leaving the road less traveled behind

March 18, 2007, a day I’ll fondly remember for the rest of my life. I will be marrying a woman I’m madly in love with, and she will be my first, and hopefully last, lover. It is the day when I cease to be a virgin and become…uhhh, not a virgin? There isn’t really a title I suppose for people who have had sex, maybe “normal” or perhaps “not a freak,” currently, however, I am a 27-year-old virgin. Not quite stirring enough for a movie, but considering the fact that in my lifetime I have had both a mullet and glasses thick enough to see Pluto, I’m surprised I’m actually going to have sex at all during my days on earth.
This is not to say I haven’t had opportunities…

June 15th, 2006
A sit down with the ultimate fan, God

In the beginning, was God. And sports was with God, and sports was God.
Then, out of the muck and mire, God created man, and gave man authority to name all the beasts of the field, the flying things and the creeping things, and it was good.
After God created man, He created the Athlete. Replete with a hefty amount of arrogance and an innate ability to point toward heaven whenever something of significance happened, the athlete flourished throughout the whole earth. The Lord was so impressed He cracked a smile and said to no one in particular “It’s all good.”
But, being God, He wanted more…
So God created ESPN and He saw that it was all good all the time.
So good in fact that God said “Let there…

May 16th, 2006
Beware of faith-based fenders

My grandmother loved Jesus. My grandmother’s dog apparently loved Jesus. My grandmother’s car even preached about Jesus. Those are not all good things. She would drive around in her huge, red Oldsmobile with a bumper sticker that read “Lion of the Tribe of Judah.” For those of you who don’t know what that is (Heck, I’m a Christian and I had no idea what it meant), it’s one of Jesus’ little monikers, like Prince of Peace or Lamb of God. I was never quite sure what my grandmother was hoping to achieve by displaying something that ninety percent of regular Bible-reading Christians can’t decipher?
“In the interest of minimizing the number of bumper…

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