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Mike Hayes :
254 article(s)

Mike Hayes is the senior editor for the Googling God section at BustedHalo.com.
December 28th, 2003

I remember building a snowman in my backyard with my older sister when I was about 5 years old. It was there that snow became the great equalizer. While she piled together the bottom third of our snowman, I took the opportunity to plot my big moment of revenge for all the times I was too little to be noticed.
I packed together a small mound of snow in my tiny five-year-old fingers and slowly approached the victim prowler-like, slowly and deliberately. With her back turned away, in the perfect kneeling position, she was now exactly my height—and busily packing the snow. I quickly arrived at the glorious summit of Mt. Kathy and (WHOMPF) smushed the snowball right in her face, a direct hit! A blow for the munchkins! I screamed…

December 10th, 2003
Caring for the Temple of Me

I stepped on the scale the other day and it read:
Please get off of me, you fat bastard!
Somehow the scale that used
to read around 180 or 190 pounds has recently moved closer toward the 215 to 220 mark.
How did this happen? Where did forty pounds of unwanted flab around the mid-section on my six foot frame come from? Perhaps the answer lies not just in what’s on my plate but also within myself.
I’m generally a pretty lazy person who needs to be pushed at times. My wife has to ask me to do household chores, the laundry sometimes piles up, and my first drafts sometimes get handed in as articles unless someone prods me to work on them further.
What’s worse is that I do the same thing with the care of my body, the temple…

December 4th, 2003
The Lost Art of Appreciating Who We Are

I’m the Thanksgiving Day Scrooge. I truly think that Thanksgiving is simply a sham, a humbug, if you will. It’s a day that makes us all feel a little better about ourselves for thanking God that we have enough.
As if God had anything to do with our good fortune.
If God is for us….My mom taught me that Thanksgiving is a day to count your blessings, to thank God for all that he has given us.
But doesn’t that also make God a God of exclusivity? Does God look on me more favorably than those children I met at an orphanage in Nicaragua or the inner-city family that lives in a housing project? What about those poor slobs in Somalia?
Should Thanksgiving simply entail wiping the sweat from my brow and being glad that…

October 4th, 2003
Why Getting the Devotion Card Punched Isn't Enough

Catholics believe in the “real presence of Christ” in the Eucharist, but as a concept I think it’s short-sighted at times. Not to knock the Eucharist as something that isn’t special or important, but I think that this literal definition of Eucharist doesn’t go far enough.
When I participate in Mass or Eucharistic adoration, I focus and meditate on the Jesus that is truly present in this sacrament. But sometimes in the process I keep Jesus at arm’s length where I can sit in splendor and adore him without challenging myself to go beyond a one on one relationship with him. I end up placing Jesus in a nice tidy box where I can control him, allow him to be present only in a way that is comfortable…

August 30th, 2003
Art's power to transform reality

Art has the power to transform us into something better, something greater, so long as we don’t merely place it on a pedestal. On my recent trip to Nicaragua, several images revealed the sensitivities of my heart in a way that I did not expect.
The streets in Leon, Nicaragua, were filled with youngsters hawking everything from small trinkets to newspapers to water. As we made our way to the Cathedral, other small children found their way to us, asking for food or money. Even in the Cathedral, there were dozens of people begging. I felt uncomfortable. My friend Ken, remarked that “we’ve learned to ignore the poor at home.” Here it wasn’t so easy.
Where’s Jesus?I decided to focus…

July 1st, 2003
The Magdalene Sisters and Catholic Guilt

Guilt and shame are two Irish-Catholic traits that are as typical as corned beef and cabbage on St Patrick’s Day to Irish-Americans. It’s one thing to be Catholic, but to be an Irish-Catholic is a whole new ball of shameful wax.
When I was a child, the God I was taught to believe in was a judging God, and I think I spent more time trying to stay out of hell than I did practicing baseball.
The theme of Irish-Catholic guilt is placed at the center of the film, The Magdalene Sisters , where guilt chastises and shame paralyzes.
The Magdalene Laundries are a chapter of Catholicism that has been relatively unheard of outside of the Emerald Isle. Even in Ireland, the insular world of the laundries has been relatively…

May 3rd, 2003
Saved provides a smart critique of the evangelical teen subculture

I went to Saved , a new comedy about teenagers in a Christian high school expecting to get a few laughs at the expense of bible-based yokels. What I got instead was an entertaining, intelligent and surprisingly subtle teen comedy that pokes fun at the simplistic thinking and hypocrisy of white-suburban-conservative-evangelical culture.
Jena Malone plays Mary, a devout teen who accepted Jesus as her personal savior at the ripe old age of three. She attends the American Eagle Christian Academy a cliquish school where a towering billboard-esque icon of Jesus greets the students outside of the schoolhouse. Inside the classroom a picture of George W. Bush looms in the background while a buffoonish evangelical…

April 29th, 2003
The Moral Obligation to Rebuild Iraq

I don’t like President Bush.
There, I said it. I don’t think he makes many wise decisions. I didn’t support his decision to go to war, and I suspect that he has ulterior motives with regard to the oil-rich Middle East.
However, I also think that President Bush means well despite my disagreements with his policies.
I believe President Bush thinks that he’s doing a good thing, that the Iraqi people will be better in the long run than they were under Saddam. He feels that he is triumphing over evil in a way that will bring peace to a region that hasn’t known peace. The citizens who cheered coalition forces and thanked President Bush for overthrowing Saddam show that, in some ways, President…

April 9th, 2003
Mister Rogers Helped Us All to Grow Up

I was talking with my wife recently about how someone
we know shelters her children. She protects her children from the daily tragedies that she encounters and controversy never enters her home. If someone calls with a problem that needs immediate attention, and the children are nearby, she informs the person that she “can’t talk now, because ‘Susie’ is here.”
I mention this because I worry this does more harm than good. Children certainly don’t need to be exposed to all the horrors that we adults encounter. But children eventually need to know how to deal with tragedy. They need to be able to sort out feelings of sadness, pain, regret, guilt, and even the feelings that surround…

April 9th, 2003
Billy Goats, the Bambino, and the Charlie Brown in All of Us

According to baseball superstition, the Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox are cursed. The Red Sox curse came in 1920, courtesy of Babe Ruth, the Bambino himself, whom the Sox sold to the Yankees so their owner could fund a theatre. The Sox had always gotten the best of the Yankees before that, but since the sale of Ruth … not so much.
The Cubs’ history is similar. In 1945, the owner of the Billy Goat Tavern was prohibited from bringing his goat (believe it or not) to Wrigley Field for the World Series. He then placed a curse on the team saying that “if the goat can’t come to the game then the Cubs will never, ever win the World Series again.”
So far, the Babe and the Goat have the upper hand.
The more…

April 1st, 2003
Papal Residence Goes ‘the Way of the Fabulous'

The “Fab Five” have done a complete make-over of the Vatican this past week prompting His Holiness, Pope John Paul II, to say, “It is as it was.” Carson Kressely the golden-locked fashion guru of the Fab 5 followed up with, “I guess that means that if one gay guy could make a masterpiece out of the Sistine Chapel then five gay guys can do a whiz bang job on the rest of the place.”
The Vatican—in colorKressley had petitioned the pope to “add a bit more color to his papal wardrobe, white is so 1984.” He’s brought out a new Papal Purple Cape, soon to be on sale at Target for the general public. “You too can be infallibly dressed,” says Kressley.
Thom…

February 26th, 2003
Toni Smith's Silent Protest Dares to Offend

March is nearly upon us, as is the brink of war. Usually when I think of March I tend to think of college basketball and March Madness, also known as the NCAA’s basketball tournament. However, at Manhattanville College in Purchase, New York, the winds of war are colliding with the swish of the nets.
Toni Smith, a senior guard on the Manhattanville College women’s basketball team has been refusing to face the flag during the national anthem, a silent protest that has been met by a much louder response, both positive and negative. Smith has given the impending war in Iraq as a reason for her protest.
In a statement made after a recent game Smith said, “A lot of people blindly stand up and salute the flag,…

February 9th, 2003

Recently we had the opportunity to babysit our friends’ 10-month-old baby boy. Matthew is a quiet and happy baby, smiling and ready to play. When our friends Maria and Andy went to a wedding, we had the chance to experience a full day with Matthew and learned a bit more about what Maria and Andy experience as parents of a small child.
The rookie and the proMarion has been baby-sitting since she was 14 and changed her first diaper when she worked as a candy-striper in a hospital. She also has four nieces and a nephew, so she was the veteran here.
Mike was a camp counselor for 6 years during his high school and college years. That has been his only experience with children of any kind, so needless to say he has never gotten…

February 9th, 2003
After School, Afterlife, and What It All Means on Ash Wednesday

TDeath has been on my mind in the past weeks, as I’ve had four different friends all lose a parent or grandparent. Usually such moments set me thinking on my own mortality or the fact that my parents are getting older. I especially get concerned about my mother, who’s been in poor health my whole life. But in these past weeks, I’ve been haunted by something that happened to me when I was a kindergarten student.
When I was a little boy, I used to cry if a teacher ever threatened to keep me after school. It took a lot of remembering (and a bit of therapy) to uncover why this upset me so much.
My mom had gone into the hospital when I was five or six. I remember being disappointed when she wasn’t there to greet…

January 9th, 2003
Is "Joe Millionaire" for real?

I hate reality TV.
I think reality TV creators pander to the lowest common denominator so often that I’d rather sit and eat paste with kindergarten children than watch one more minute of Survivor: Thailand (Elmer’s is particularly tasty, by the way).
I particularly don’t like what I call the desperation reality shows. Shows like The Bachelor, Who Wants to Marry a Multi-millionaire?, and Blind Date prey on those desperate for attention, be it desperate attention from the opposite sex, or craving those fifteen minutes of fame.
In a recent America Online survey a majority of people found cast members of reality TV shows “embarrassing.” I can’t say I disagree. However, I…

December 13th, 2002
Special to BustedHalo.com

December 13—This morning in Rome it was announced that the pope had accepted the resignation of Cardinal Bernard Law, the Archbishop of Boston. This brings to an end one part of the yearlong priest sex scandal in the Catholic Church, especially as it has been centered in Boston. Cardinal Law had been shown in various court documents and depositions to have knowingly reassigned to other parishes priests accused of molesting children and teenagers. Once reassigned many struck again.
In the Cardinal’s at the time of his resignation, he apologized for this and asked the forgiveness of the people of Boston.
For many months, increasing numbers of Catholic laypeople, priests, and public officials had called…

December 4th, 2002
The Emperor's Club Laments Moral Emptiness Among the Elites

“How will history remember you?”
That is the question that Mr. Hundert (Kevin Kline ) puts to the boys of St. Benedict’s Prep School in his classics classroom. He asks himself the same question when he meets these students again 25 years later.
The secondary question is: “Does history give us an accurate picture of those it remembers, or are only accomplishments recalled without regard to how they are achieved?”
No Dead Poets hereFor those of you who think this movie is a continuation of Dead Poets Society, you could not be further from the truth. Both tell the story of an inspiring prep school teacher, but that is where the comparisons end. Hundert teaches character along with history…

November 16th, 2002
Homecoming Weekend

It seems like most couples get a “pass” during the first year of married life. This is the time when they simply get to know each other, spend time together, laugh, enjoy each other’s company. There are fewer responsibilities, and children haven’t entered the picture yet; the couple is free to discover and have fun. It’s the honeymoon period.
Our first six months of marriage, on the other hand, have been characterized by continual hospital visits. Shortly after our wedding, Mike’s mom was given a 30% chance to live, and had to undergo some very serious surgery. Marion’s dad then had open-heart surgery. Her grandmother had some heart problems that landed her in the…

October 1st, 2002
The Legacies of Two Men Who Died Young

My friend Dave Connors was 25 when he died of complications from heart surgery. For as long as I knew Dave, he was hampered by physical ailments, but I never sensed he was in any serious danger—even when his condition became grave. Dave was one of those even-tempered people who never got too high or too low.
Dave almost died when he was 22. He had a defibrillator (much like the one Vice-President Cheney has) attached to his heart and it gave him a few more good years. That was a wake up call for me. Suddenly my friend, my young friend, could die.
Until his life was threatened by his illness, I had wasted a real opportunity to get to know Dave. It didn’t seem possible that someone my own age could die. Fortunately for me,…

September 26th, 2002

The movie Barbershop is a nightmare for people like the Rev. Al Sharpton.
Black leaders have taunted the creators of Barbershop for remarks that disparage the reputation of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jesse Jackson, and Rosa Parks by “Eddie,” the character played by Cedric the Entertainer . The sad thing is that while the character of Eddie is somewhat of a social misfit, he has more class and dignity than many of those who are shouting him down. This could have been the creator’s intent all along.
Eddie is the symbol of dignity in this movie (believe it or not). While he doesn’t speak clearly, has an “old-school afro,” and seems to be the “teller of tall tales,” Eddie…

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