Busted Halo
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Mike Hayes :
257 article(s)

Mike Hayes is the senior editor for the Googling God section at BustedHalo.com.
November 16th, 2002
Homecoming Weekend

It seems like most couples get a “pass” during the first year of married life. This is the time when they simply get to know each other, spend time together, laugh, enjoy each other’s company. There are fewer responsibilities, and children haven’t entered the picture yet; the couple is free to discover and have fun. It’s the honeymoon period.
Our first six months of marriage, on the other hand, have been characterized by continual hospital visits. Shortly after our wedding, Mike’s mom was given a 30% chance to live, and had to undergo some very serious surgery. Marion’s dad then had open-heart surgery. Her grandmother had some heart problems that landed her in the…

October 1st, 2002
The Legacies of Two Men Who Died Young

My friend Dave Connors was 25 when he died of complications from heart surgery. For as long as I knew Dave, he was hampered by physical ailments, but I never sensed he was in any serious danger—even when his condition became grave. Dave was one of those even-tempered people who never got too high or too low.
Dave almost died when he was 22. He had a defibrillator (much like the one Vice-President Cheney has) attached to his heart and it gave him a few more good years. That was a wake up call for me. Suddenly my friend, my young friend, could die.
Until his life was threatened by his illness, I had wasted a real opportunity to get to know Dave. It didn’t seem possible that someone my own age could die. Fortunately for me,…

September 26th, 2002

The movie Barbershop is a nightmare for people like the Rev. Al Sharpton.
Black leaders have taunted the creators of Barbershop for remarks that disparage the reputation of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jesse Jackson, and Rosa Parks by “Eddie,” the character played by Cedric the Entertainer . The sad thing is that while the character of Eddie is somewhat of a social misfit, he has more class and dignity than many of those who are shouting him down. This could have been the creator’s intent all along.
Eddie is the symbol of dignity in this movie (believe it or not). While he doesn’t speak clearly, has an “old-school afro,” and seems to be the “teller of tall tales,” Eddie…

September 14th, 2002
9-11

Marion’s off this week. So I’d like to dedicate this week’s column to my college friend, Susan Cullen, and her soul mate, Thomas Cullen.
Tom Cullen was killed in the September 11th disaster. He was a member of an elite rescue squad in New York City.
Tom always wanted to be a firefighter. I think that’s all he ever wanted to be. I remember our freshman year at Fordham University when we met. There was a rash of fires set in our dorm by a mysterious person whom we could never seem to catch. One night the building was evacuated because of one of these fires. I remember standing in the courtyard and the resident assistant read a roll of names to make sure everyone had gotten out. Not everyone was present.…

September 11th, 2002
Reaching Out Since 9/11

We’ve noticed that many people seem to want to form connections since the tragedy of September 11th last year. Even in everyday encounters when we’re running errands, people want to talk more. Folks have more time for each other, rather than the usual self-involved way we used to run around and do the ordinary, mundane chores of life.
The horrific events of September 11th have provided a wake-up call for many people in regard to the attitudes they have toward other people.
September 11th provided us with one lasting question: w hat types of people do we want to spend our valuable time with?
Marion: I’ve found that I can sense when someone has a vengeful streak in them, or has a bad attitude, or is simply…

September 10th, 2002
You're Not Alone

During times of crisis, things can get overwhelming if you try to do it all yourself. At different times we’ve tried to remind one another of that.
Mike: Since my mom has been sick, I’ve been overwhelmed with hospital visits, calls to the doctor, hospital bureaucracy, and still trying to be a husband and maintain my job responsibilities. There have been a lot of obstacles to overcome, especially in trying to make sure my mom is getting the proper care that she needs. I have been running myself ragged.
Marion:… When Mike feels this way, I immediately remind him that I’m here to help. That he doesn’t need to do everything himself. I’ve made phone calls to try to alleviate some of the hospital

September 10th, 2002
You're Not Alone

During times of crisis, things can get overwhelming if you try to do it all yourself. At different times we’ve tried to remind one another of that.
Mike: Since my mom has been sick, I’ve been overwhelmed with hospital visits, calls to the doctor, hospital bureaucracy, and still trying to be a husband and maintain my job responsibilities. There have been a lot of obstacles to overcome, especially in trying to make sure my mom is getting the proper care that she needs. I have been running myself ragged.
Marion: When Mike feels this way, I immediately remind him that I’m here to help. That he doesn’t need to do everything himself. I’ve made phone calls to try to alleviate some of the hospital…

July 5th, 2002
The Importance of Being Real

At the movies, do you stay until all the credits have rolled by?
Everyone knows that behind-the-scenes folks in the movie industry get the short end of the stick. Directors and producers are not (for the most part) the household names that actors are. The recently released film Simone takes on the inflated sense the public has of movie stars and the value we place on fame in our society.
Al Pacino plays film director Stanley Turansky, all washed up after several bombs. His last chance is in big trouble when the star actress walks out claiming he’s impossible to work with. Because of his reputation Turansky can’t get any other actress as a replacement and it appears his career is over.
Enter Hank. A computer…

June 4th, 2002
A response to the bishops' recent proposals on the sexual abuse crisis

After reviewing the latest proposals from the U.S. Catholic bishops, I was pleasantly surprised with many of their recommendations. However, the writers of this document still don’t get it.
Don’t get me wrong, many of the U.S. bishops have gone above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to speaking out in favor of the victims, accepting questions from people in their diocese, and working for healing for the church at large. Cardinal Theodore McCarrick of Washington, D.C. is one bishop who I immensely respect. Recently at a young adult gathering, McCarrick answered many questions about the scandal with great candor and empathy for a church that needs healing and openness. And there are other…

June 2nd, 2002

As someone who has dated people that he has worked with, I speak from experience. It’s the best of times and the worst of times.
Here’s the upside:

Smooches during the day are always good.
You always have someone to go to lunch with.
Work schedule conflicts are minimal.
Someone understands your plight when you complain about the boss.

Of course there’s always the downside:

Need to always look good at work.
Never get any work done because you’re daydreaming about what she’s doing.
She tells people about how romantic you are and the guys think you’re a wuss.
Getting that massage from your honey gets dirty looks from the boss.

Seriously, it was really hard to stay focused at work…

June 1st, 2002
Back to the Rosary

I’ve never found the rosary particularly helpful to my prayer.
Truth be told, most of the time when I pray, I use my own words. Having learned that prayer is conversation with God, I need not only to speak to God but also to listen intently. I need to sense where God is guiding me in my life, where God is working in my life.
There are those times when it all feels like bunk. I feel like I’m talking to the wall, to myself, like God isn’t around. I end up feeling empty inside, alone. Is God deaf? Maybe my wife who’s a sign language interpreter would have better luck signing my prayers?
But I’ve had moments of great clarity during prayer too. I’ve had things explained to me a thousand times…

May 10th, 2002
While You're Away

Recently, I (Mike) had to go away for a few days on business. It was the first time Marion and I had spent time away from each other since the wedding. While I (Mike) was kept busy and distracted from missing Marion with the demands of the conference I was attending, the experience was quite different for Marion.
Of course I (Marion) had been away from Mike before. The last time Mike was away was when we were planning the wedding. That particular weekend my sister called me five or six times to keep me distracted, asking me questions about the wedding. This time it felt different. We always get to re-connect at the end of our day. Mike and I always have dinner together and talk about the day’s events. There was one day…

May 3rd, 2002
It Takes Someone Special to Be a Dad

Daddy always gets the big piece of chicken.
At least that’s what Chris Rock says. In a recent comedy routine, Rock stated that moms always get better presents on Mother’s Day than any dad gets on Father’s Day.
“Everything’s always for the mommy. ‘Did you tell Mommy how good she looks?’ ‘Did you get Mommy something nice for Mother’s Day?’ Everything’s for the mommy. The only thing daddy ever gets is the big piece of chicken!”
Dads really are unappreciated sometimes. Rock said in the same routine that nobody ever says, “Hey Dad, thanks for knocking out the rent this month!”
Mike’s dad has this quiet confidence.…

April 30th, 2002
Remembering and Celebrating on Our First Anniversary

It’s been a year since we took that walk down the aisle. We’ve had a year filled with happiness, but it’s also been a difficult year because Mike’s mom spent half the year in the hospital and Marion’s grandmother has had her share of health problems as well.
In our first year we learned that marriage is about two people who are there to support one another no matter what comes their way. It’s about commitment, making a conscious decision to love your partner despite the difficulties.
The big day Our anniversary day was reminiscent of our wedding day. We went to the restaurant where our wedding reception was held, and we were filled with the memories of our special day. We even looked…

April 20th, 2002
Wishing you many happy years together...

Mike and Marion Perracchio pronounced their wedding vows at 11 a.m. on Saturday morning, April 20th, in New York City. Their column will be returning soon, but here are a few wedding photos:…

April 20th, 2002
The Wedding of the Year

April 20th–Our big day. All the preparation was done and our day had finally arrived.
Marion had a whole morning of preparation with her bridal party. “We all gathered in my sister Vera’s room, at the hotel and had fun laughing and talking while our hair was being done.” Vera gave Marion their mother’s Communion and Confirmation prayer books that were family keepsakes for many years. (Marion’s mom died when she was in college) This gift moved both Marion and Vera so much that they both started crying.
Mike and his best man, Crash (as he is known), stayed overnight at the parish rectory (courtesy of Fr. Brett) the night before the wedding. They were able to wake up and get all of those…

April 6th, 2002
Past Pain Becomes Present Strength

He walked into the diner with his blue windbreaker and disheveled gray hair. His clothes were rumpled and his glasses were slightly askew. In short, he was a mess.
He sat in the booth directly behind us. The odor that emanated from him was bleach mixed with body sweat. It was impossible for us to finish our meal with the unappetizing stench.
I took a good look at the man. He looked to be in his seventies, balding, a bit weird. It was at that moment that I realized how much he reminded me of my dad.
The connection

While I know my dad can easily take care of himself, my uneducated Irish immigrant father has a few eccentricities that have embarrassed me over the years. I shudder sometimes when he launches into a story that everyone…

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