It’s interesting to think about what makes one interesting, in particular one self. I’ve always had this kind of syndrome borderline paranoia which causes me to believe everyone else in the world has a story to tell, but not me. This made it all that much more wearisome to write a blog about being a twenty-something girl looking for G-d and a good fashion sense at the same time. Quarter-life crises can be more challenging than they appear.
As an aspiring journalist, I ask people questions all the time: What inspires you? How did you overcome your fears? Why are you so interesting and I’m not? I’ll just say that it’s much easier to ask the questions than to answer. Only recently I’ve been asked such questions too, and it makes me think – why does anyone care?
There’s a great illustration that totally resonates with me by artist Cathy Thorne, see below:
I don’t know if it’s a female thing, or a being 24 thing, but I definitely see how we can all think it’s greener on everyone else’s side. You know, everyone else has a more interesting career, love life, social circle, nightlife, sex life, relationship with their family, financial situation, physical appearance – yada, yada, yada. Don’t we even envy people a small bit who do more volunteer work, or feel closer to G-d? It is somehow really difficult to get past all that and realize I’ve got a lot going on here, too.
At a brainstorming session, specifically for this blog you’re reading right here right now, I put out there that I want to write something that adds value to the site; that readers will care about. The answer I got was not the answer I wanted, but the answer that at least shut me up for a little while – they want to read about me. And my story. And they helped me figure out that I have more to say than I care to admit.
So there, in that room, I rendezvoused with G-d and got a little bit of self-confidence to talk about me. If you’re also suffering from borderline “me” paranoia, maybe it would do some good to lock up in a room and leave it between you and G-d to figure out. He might surprise you with how interesting you actually are.