Nicole, a U.S. citizen, prepares to move her four children to rural Mexico to be with her husband who has been barred from reentering the United States.

In this segment, Nicole explains how her husband was barred from returning to the United States. Because of this, she is planning on moving with her kids to Mexico.

In video two, Nicole talks about the difficulties she’s facing uprooting her four kids and moving to a foreign country.

In video three, Nicole and the kids begin the process of leaving their home for Mexico.

In the fourth and final video, 24 hours before their move to Mexico, Nicole and the kids say goodbye.

Originally published on September 9, 2009.

I love a good rags-to-riches story. A vampire spin-off is not the usual definition of riches, but for the millions of people who love the Buffyverse, Andy Hallett was a success.

Hallett started his career in Los Angeles as Joss Whedon’s wife’s personal assistant. For those who don’t know, Joss Whedon was the writer, creator and driving force behind the TV shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Firefly — series known for being equal parts camp and brilliant writing.

After Whedon and friends went to see Hallett sing at B.B. King’s in Los Angeles, Whedon conceived of an Angel character written just for Hallett. The character was Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan; a green demon with scaly skin and red horns. However, Whedon never lets first impressions determine what a fictional character can do. (Remember that preternaturally strong teenage Buffy Summers?) Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan, or Lorne, could read a person’s thoughts and future when hearing them sing karaoke. With that gift he helped Angel, the vampire with a soul, save lives.

Mostly, Hallett’s Lorne made it easier to deal with subject matter like the end of the world or a broken heart. It is difficult for an actor to embody a character so well that audiences can’t help but smile; Andy Hallett did that while singing Aretha Franklin, on pitch, again and again.

At 33, he died of a heart condition.

There are some famous people that seem so kind and so genuine that I am glad they are somewhere in the world. I don’t need to meet them or visit their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I just want to know they exist in the madhouse of entertainment and keep their heads while doing it. For me, Patrick Swayze was one of those famous people.

Like all Americans raised in the 1980s, watching Dirty Dancing, The Outsiders or Red Dawn every weekend on basic cable provided cinematic life lessons. The Brat Pack taught me many things: detention is determined by the group of people you are detained with; and dancing makes all ages, races and classes happy.

Later in my life, however, Patrick Swayze the man taught me something different: a death sentence isn’t necessarily the end. Swayze starred in a television series (The Beast on A&E) with many strikes against him. He was a has-been, and he had a barely treatable form of pancreatic cancer. Yet, he was making his entertainment dreams come true. He didn’t have the physical strength to promote the show but he was back on my Panasonic screen once a week.

Perhaps, he should have stayed home and stopped working because of the diagnosis. No one would have blamed him. For all intents and purposes he was a dying man.

I don’t know what it takes to live with a terminal illness and not want to throw in the towel. But I do know what it’s like to see one of my heroes — while dying — become a stronger version of who I had imagined him to be.

Faith, spirituality and religion are too often looked upon as the province of “experts” who spend all their time in places of worship with their noses buried deep in holy books. At BustedHalo.com we frequently hear from readers who desperately want to explore their spiritual questions but feel alienated from traditional faith communities. The fact of the matter is that the experience of sacredness is as unique and personal as our fingerprints, but we sometimes fail to recognize these moments as God’s way of speaking to us in our everyday lives.

“Where’s God?” is our attempt to look more imaginatively at the movement of grace in each of our lives and chronicle the countless different ways God is at work. We hope that Joey Kilrain’s experience of finding God in a 1966 Chevy Impala will inspire others to realize that it doesn’t take an “expert” to see God’s presence in their own lives.
We want to hear from you…
We hope to shoot more segments in the near future, so we encourage readers to share where God is for them below.

Originally published February 1, 2009.

It is impossible to create and not expose yourself. In fiction, music or memoir, there is the beating heart of the writer’s own life experiences between every line. Fear of exposing themselves in the way that is necessary for others to connect keeps some writers from ever being publishing, or taking their talent to the next level. Jim Carroll did not have that fear. He was a creative force who exposed himself in words, music and even basketball.

To the uninitiated, Jim Carroll was a punk rock icon, singer, writer, spoken word artist and poet who inserted Catholic imagery whenever he could. “Catholic Boy”was his first song to be released, in 1980. It is a raucous story of survival, swirling in phrases like “extreme unction” and “Garden of Gethsemane.” It depicts the tremendous polarities of his early life quite beautifully. Carroll spent his teenage years being a star basketball player for a top Catholic high school in New York, and a life-decimating addict at the same time. One extreme had to win out.

Hope in the desolation

In his two memoirs, The Basketball Diaries and Forced Entries, Carroll lays bare the results of the “extreme life.” In the pages of his journals from ages 13 to 23, Carroll depicts himself as a young disaster who chooses drugs over his talent for basketball or even a normal teenage life. Also, there is a Bret Easton Ellis quality to the prose that makes you wonder if there is hope in the desolation.

When I read the books there was hope; Carroll was alive and still writing somewhere in New York’s Lower East Side. In the New York Times, his close friend Patti Smith had described meeting him: “I met him in 1970, and already he was pretty much universally recognized as the best poet of his generation. The work was sophisticated and elegant. He had beauty.”

In 2009, he died at the

…

Growing up just south of Los Angeles, Sr. Bernadette (Mary) Reis would see her cousin Paul Mages when her family took vacation trips to visit his family in the Milwaukee area. For the first 25 years after she entered the convent with the Daughters of St. Paul at the age of 14, Sr. Bernadette and Paul saw each other only at a couple of family gatherings.

Having reconnected over the past two years while living near each other in New York City, Sr. Bernadette and Paul have developed a deeper friendship. This has forced them to bridge the very different worlds they inhabit: Paul’s as an openly gay man and Sr. Bernadette’s as a member of a traditional Roman Catholic religious order.

During their wide-ranging discussion they confront issues ranging from how Sr. Bernadette reconciles the Catholic Church’s teachings regarding homosexuality with her relationship with her cousin and his longtime partner, to how being gay deepens Paul’s commitment to his Christian faith.

…

During that third week of June when we lost King of Pop and the Queen of Pinup on the same day, it was easy for the death of someone who spent most of his life as a sidekick to be brushed aside. It was easy for the shock of losing two people Generation X once considered dynamic role models to overshadow the loss of someone who was considered, in his own way, a great uncle.

If you have ever watched Conan O’Brien and wondered why he has Andy Richter sitting next to him night after night, Ed McMahon is the reason why. From all accounts, it’s a very difficult thing to be a stand-up comedian, putting yourself out there in front of millions of people each night… even Jerry Seinfeld confesses to getting nervous before a big show. But the comfort of having someone ready to lead the audience in laughter when a joke is a hit — or even offer an encouraging chuckle when a balloon of a witticism turns out to be a bowling ball — cannot be underestimated. Ask comedians who was the best of the best, and most of them will say Johnny Carson. I suspect if you asked Johnny Carson how he did it for all of those years, he would say Ed McMahon.

To be sure, his association with the greatest legend in late night television earned him the opportunity to fly on his own. Before America Idol captivated the entertainment ambitions of a nation there was Star Search, the biggest talent show of the 1980s. But unlike the modern reincarnation, the show did not focus on its hosts’ acerbic criticism. Rather, Ed did what he did best: introduce people to the world and let them shine.

The grace of being number two

In

…

“Captain” Lou Albano (1933-2009) — professional wrestling legend and star of Cyndi Lauper videos — was what my grandmother called “a nice Italian boy.” Never mind that by the time she met him, he was in his 50s; and, that to an entire industry of professional wrestlers, being called “nice” would have been the kiss of death. None of that concerned my grandmother, who never saw Captain Lou at work. She just liked him because he praised her tortellini en brodo.

According to family lore, Captain Lou was introduced to us thanks to an encounter after hours at a local bar in our hometown of Carmel, NY, a bedroom community an hour north of New York City. He took one look at my brother, noting a build worthy of a professional wrestling career, and said, ” I gotta meet whoever’s feeding you!” He drove my brother home, and was instructed to walk over to the back door leading to my grandmother’s apartment. Within an hour, Captain Lou was treated to a feast, the size and scope of which normally was reserved for High Holy Days. Clearly, a visit from a local celebrity — and “nice Italian boy” — was on par with the most holy of days.

Lou was a man who liked to eat, liked home cooked meals, and liked to meet friends and visit their families. He was the sort that, upon discovering a fellow Italian, would give a slap on the back and declare himself a “paesan.” Lou was also the kind of person who would never let a man drive himself home while drunk. My brother was so drunk that early Sunday morning at the bar that to this day he has no memory of it. In retrospect, it’s clear Lou invited himself over that first time so my brother wouldn’t have to drive. I’m sure he would prefer people think he just liked his brunch.

A proper Italian Sunday brunch

After my grandmother passed away, Lou had his Sunday brunch at a local

…

It was just the beginning of the season… the April dew still lingered on the short blades of grass, the electricity and excitement for a year full of potential filled the air, and just a few hours earlier, a young Angel pitcher by the name of Nick Adenhart had thrown six shut out innings in his season debut. The future was bright. The baseball world was his oyster. And then came the crash.

Nick Adenhart, 22, and two others tragically died in a car accident last April when a drunk driver blew through a red light and struck their vehicle with maximum force. It happened hours after Adenhart took to the field in just his fourth Major League start ever. He had achieved his dream of playing baseball at the highest level. But his family has been living a nightmare every day since.

How could someone so young be taken from this earth so soon? If I am to believe that everything happens for a reason (which I do) what possible reason could there be for this? They’re the kind of questions that only God can truly answer and any answers that do come seem wholly inadequate.

Nick Adenhart was not just a top prospect with tremendous baseball talent and blinding potential, he was a human being, a person who grew up with hopes and dreams just like the rest of us. The only difference was, unlike most of the rest of us, he was blessed to actually live those hopes and dreams, even if it was for less than a year.

Childhood dreams

I grew up with a dream not too much unlike that of Adenhart’s. From the moment I held a bat at the age of 5, I knew I wanted to be a Major League baseball player. And while that same dream faded for many of my friends as they grew into their teenage years, I held fast, believing with every fiber of my being that I would one day reach the heights of baseball stardom. I had such a

…

While music fans often cling to memories of their first concert experience, I vividly remember the very first music video I watched — Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” It was at my cousin’s house sitting on her mom’s plastic covered couch while our parents sat in the dining room having coffee. “Thriller” gave me nightmares for weeks, and I still cringe every time I see Jackson transform from sweet guy on a date at the movies to a character from the crypt. But, that is the job of a true entertainer — leaving your audience with something to remember. Lucky for us, Jackson has a legacy that will last for years to come.

I don’t know what first sparked my interested in music, but I know Jackson had something to do with it. He paved the way for so many artists, inspired and let each know it was okay to step outside his limits and express his creativity through music. Maybe that’s why I chose music journalism as my career path. Interviewing bands who worked with and were influenced by Jackson has been a humbling experience. Who knows where they’d be, or where I would be, today without that kind of presence in this world.

Growing up, all I ever listened to was New York City’s oldies station, WCBS-FM 101.1. It was my dad’s favorite. The Jackson 5 was part of my childhood, along with Elvis Presley, the Temptations and the Beatles. Songs like “I Want You Back” always put a smile on my face. At nearly three minutes long, it was an endearing track about wanting a girlfriend back. I had no clue what the song was about at the time, but loved it regardless.

His influence and power to inspire go on

Jackson’s life was a rollercoaster ride and there’s little doubt that he was a deeply troubled soul. Over the last few months of his life, Jackson was rehearsing for his upcoming tour dates at the O2 arena in London, which he hailed as his “final curtain call.” It was

…

The uproar over Notre Dame’s honoring President Obama in late May exposed the fissures within American Catholicism that will no doubt be on display following the President’s July 10 visit to the Vatican.

But while it is no secret that American Catholics have been publicly bickering with one another since the end of Vatican II (and well before then, if one reads a little history), what we are seeing now is more disturbing than a simple clash of ideologies.

It is a culture war — but not the broader, endlessly discussed “culture war” between blue- and red-state America. Rather, it is a more specific, more intense, intramural Catholic culture war. It is not pretty and, more importantly, its viciousness serves only to confirm to those outside the Church that, while we call ourselves Christians, we are unable to live out the most basic precepts of Christian compassion and charity.

Vitriol and name-calling

As Catholics who write and debate from a conservative perspective, we’ve witnessed this clash close up. The vitriol and name-calling has been raging online, all too often anonymously, for quite a while. But what was previously regarded as fringe or extreme, and confined to heated exchanges on web forums, has increasingly seeped into the Catholic mainstream. The verbal abuse among fellow Catholics has gotten out of control, and Catholics need to address it if they care about healing the Body of Christ.

Just about all of us involved in the Catholic culture wars — especially those who write and blog — have, at one time or another, been guilty of rhetorical excess, or transgressed Christian charity in some way. We often rationalize our behavior by emphasizing the gravity of the situation — After all, what could be more demanding of severe rebuke than life-and-death issues like abortion and war? — or by telling ourselves that this is just the culture we live

…

I read John Updike’s Rabbit series when I was 22, living with nuns in the North Bronx. Perhaps needless to say, I had a lot of free time after around 8:30 every night, and I tore through all the novels I didn’t have time to read in undergrad. Of course, what I read still had to be literature, for the same reason where I worked had to be the South Bronx. My life simply had to be soul-achingly important, and what could be more important than inner city work and the world’s great books? Anything would be better than the middle-class, anti-intellectual muck I had left. Or so I thought. And then I read Rabbit.

“Rabbit” Harry Angstrom is the main character of four novels and a novella, each title alliterative, each of them set at the turn of a decade, and each of them reflecting the zeitgeist of its era: the 1960 Rabbit, Run features a newly married twentysomething, uncomfortable with his society’s strict sexual codes and unsure how to handle the end of youth’s omnipotence; the 1971, ’81, and ’90 novels follow Rabbit through, respectively, wife-swapping, money, and then death. A postscript novella, “Rabbit Remembered,”set in 1999, follows Rabbit’s family, where he lingers, as all departed do, around the old haunts, both gone and not. I’m sure, had Updike lived a few more years, 2010 would have had at least a Rabbit short story, though I’m hard-pressed for another R-word: maybe “Rabbit for Real.”

Everyone loved Rabbit. Rabbit, Run set Updike as his generation’s writer-to-beat, and it firmly established his rivalry with Philip Roth in dealing with the same recurrent theme: How does a relatively selfish, very much alive and extremely horny man deal with the strains of family and religion?

Updike won a National Book Award for the latter two Rabbit novels, in addition to countless other literary awards for other work, and the Rabbit quartet (published as Rabbit Angstrom: The Four Novels in 1995) earned a New York Times accolade as one of the five best novels

…

It’s difficult now to grasp what a radical thing Eunice Kennedy Shriver was undertaking in the 1960s, when she founded the precursor of the Special Olypics, then fostered the later event’s success. We sit, after all, in a time — thank goodness — when we have largely lost the ability to flinch in the face of physical or mental hindrance in our brothers and sisters. We prefer to take people as they are, and our world is better for it.

This is due quite directly to Eunice Shriver, who began her work in a vastly different era when handicaps were something to be hushed up about, or hidden from view. After all, she caused a minor scandal in America in 1962 when she penned an article in the Saturday Evening Post acknowledging that her sister Rosemary, one of the nine Kennedy siblings, was developmentally disabled. This was considered a taboo for any family at the time, even one whose members included the President and Attorney General of the United States.

Shriver by all accounts was the sort of person who never blushed, and never backed down. As important as she considered it to force into the public conscience an awareness of Rosemary and others like her, she put a far greater priority on the work that caused much less instant fuss, but that has had much greater, lasting effect. In the same year she introduced the world to her sister, Shriver hosted a camp for the handicapped during summer days on the grounds of her farm. The idea for “Camp Shriver” was simple: allow those with disabilities the chance to enjoy each other’s company and take part in friendly competition — without judgment, without spectacle. It sounded so small, but the humanizing effect of sportsmanship was enormous.

After collaborating with numerous musicians and dabbling in acting, it was DJ AM’s last project that was his most memorable.

Adam Goldstein, best known as DJ AM, battled with addiction for much of his life and remained clean for 11 years. In his last months he filmed Gone Too Far, a series on MTV where he provided intervention for those who struggled with addiction.

An intense series, the show explicitly reveals a day in the life of an addict while offering help to those willing to change their lives. While I’ve never dealt with addiction personally, the show really made an impact on me and restored my faith in the music industry.

Being a music journalist, I’ve heard the horror stories of bands dropped by major labels and the destruction that the touring lifestyle causes on loved ones. However, I’ve hardly ever read about a musician that is truly selfless and making a difference in society. Goldstein changed this. He provided hope and help to numerous addicts and their families and his spirit lives on in those lives he saved.

When I was ten, my favorite movie was Mary Poppins. As it begins, British siblings Jane and Michael Banks write an advertisement listing their requirements for a new nanny. Their father — a curmudgeon who prefers investment banking to parenting — shreds the heartfelt proposal, throwing it in the fireplace and into infinity. His children’s wishes reach Mary anyway; she sits perched contentedly in the sky, as if waiting for them. With the snap of her fingers, Mary Poppins could transform a routine bunch of chores on a mundane Monday into an eternal summer Sunday afternoon at the carnival. Truly, Mary was capable of the miraculous.

Twenty-five years later, I found myself seeking Mary again. This time, it wasn’t Disney’s bohemian nanny that I yearned for, but Mary the Mother of God, who is capable of making miracles happen in real life. I hoped I’d find her in France.

As I sat in the San Francisco airport waiting to board an eleven-hour flight to Paris, I thought back to the many events that led me to be embarking on eight days of volunteer service in Lourdes, along with 15 strangers and a priest. As the North American Lourdes Volunteers brochure stated, “Volunteer pilgrimages are profound spiritual journeys in which one experiences the Gospel message of Lourdes and then lives the message in service to others.” Help! I imagined that my first solo European trip would be more along the lines of a Contiki tour for thirtysomethings seeking all-inclusive drinks, museum passes and a date. Instead, I had reluctantly chosen what was to be a serious pilgrimage for serious Catholics. I was bound not to fit in.
Mother
Though I attended thirteen years of Catholic school and a Jesuit University, my faith had waned in early adulthood. I spent my 20s in New York City and California, chasing my dream of becoming a writer and an actor. I became the type of Catholic that shows up on December 24th and Easter Sunday. My relationship to the Church had become akin to my subscription to The …

A new CatholicMatch.com poll has given us some data to prove what we already know: The holidays are a tough time to be single. Among more than 3,700 online CatholicMatch users polled in the December survey, 40% said that Christmas was the roughest time of the year to be unhitched… with New Year’s Eve a close second with 32% putting it in the number one “ugh” slot.

“I think all holidays are bad without someone special to share them with, but I have my family for most of them,” reported Michelle-407188. “I would have to say the worst is New Years. New Years is for being with close friends! It is way more fun to share it with someone special than alone!”

Women were slightly more likely to vote their solo New Year’s as most depressing – 35% of women compared with 28% of men – and the older you were, the worse it seemed to watch the ball drop without someone to smooch at the end.

According to CatholicMatch.com results, respondents vented about the awkward midnight kiss and the lack of partnership entering into a new year. “Everyone is paired off and dressed up,” Denise-464246 wrote. “Sitting at home with my bottle of sparkling cider is boring – even if I put on my nice PJs.”

My husband and I will smooch in the New Year together after dinner with a few close friends this year, but lemme tell ya, I know about solo New Year’s Eves. Indeed, that’s the secret reason why I hosted so many parties over the years: For five years running—all through my New York City single days—I’d host enormous (I’m talking need-to-repaint-the-walls afterward kind of big) parties at my apartment. Not because I was a particularly giving person. No. I just wanted to see whom I might meet along the way! (One year, as the clock began to strike midnight, I may have been heard shouting “kisses for the hostess!” in the vicinity of a particularly handsome man, but I’ll deny all of it.)

If you’re ringing …

The promise of meditation is not the 20 minutes of refuge from an otherwise insane day, wonderful as that may be. The promise is to gradually cultivate a way of living that is less insane. I’ve noticed over and over: People struggling with anxiety over things they’re powerless to affect rarely have a daily prayer and meditation practice.

Looking to travel to amazing international destinations with other 20- and 30-somethings? How about a great escape that’s also good for you? Or perhaps a vacation excursion with a spiritual slant? If so, Busted Halo® has created a travel adventure to satisfy both your wanderlust and your wonder lust.

For thousands of years, people from all walks of life and faith traditions have set out on spiritually significant journeys. Before tourism became popular in the 19th century, religious pilgrimages were the holidays (derived from the term “holy days”) that many people took. While they usually involved a sacred destination, medieval pilgrims often used their journeys as both social and leisure opportunities as well as an occasion to draw closer to God. In an age such as ours, is it possible to reinvigorate that old model and bring a spiritual dimension to a 21st century holiday? Can a pilgrimage still be relevant to 20- and 30-somethings whose quest for faith is different from their parents and grandparents? Busted Halo® believes it can.

Different Paths but the Same Journey
Busted Halo® has designed a pilgrimage experience for people in their 20s and 30s who normally wouldn’t be caught dead on a …

Wow, you guys are amazing!!

With the outpouring of support from Busted Halo readers earlier this month, on December 16 we found out that Tiyatien Health won the grand prize in the Ashoka Changemakers’ “Rethinking Mental Health” global competition. The competition drew over 340 submissions from 42 countries and sought the “best solutions to improve mental health in communities around the world.”

Dr. Patrick Lee, a friend of mine who is heading up this important project, said, “We were overjoyed by the outpouring of support from people around the world. You — our community of friends, families and colleagues — rapidly mobilized a global network of concern around our work and the Changemakers competition. Your response was incredible. We could not have achieved this without your support.”

Thank you, Busted Halo — and Merry Christmas!

Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding”.
Send us your questions!
We encourage you to email us questions, or record a short video with your question and send it to us. If we use your video in a future episode, we will give you a $25 Amazon gift certificate. Send in your questions to weddings@bustedhalo.com and hear Dr. Christine Whelan, author of the Pure Sex, Pure Love column go head to head with Father Eric Andrews, a Paulist priest with more than 15 years of wedding experience as they debate your questions: Why can’t you get married on the beach? Why is the priest being such a jerk? Why do we have to talk about sex during pre-Cana? And many more.

Dr. Christine B. Whelan, is an Iowa-based social historian, professor, journalist and author. She is the author of Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to True Love, and Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women.

Fr. Eric Andrews CSP is the President of Paulist Productions, the film and television ministry of the Paulist Fathers, located in Los Angeles, California. Prior to entering the priesthood, he worked for Jim Henson and the Muppets on a variety of television productions.