As a young professor at a big university, I’m able to talk to my students about rather personal issues like hooking up, relationships and sex.…read more
What would you do for spiritual enlightenment and personal success? Would you agree to spend 36 hours alone in the desert without food or water…read more
After a summer of barbecues, s’mores, and ice cream, you might be considering a diet to help you slim down. Well-intentioned, often desperate souls begin…read more
I accepted an internship with the hopes that it would turn into a full-time job. In March, I discovered it wouldn’t, so I started the…read more
“We need to talk.” The four dreaded words that strike fear into all of us. “We need to talk” is almost never the start of…read more
Call it the Daisy Complex: So many of us worry ourselves sick — think of that silly game where you pluck the petals off a daisy: “She loves me… she loves me not…” seeking an arbitrary answer — and our fear of rejection keeps us from taking the first steps to happiness.
In his head, Thomas plays out the negative scenarios: He asks her out, she says no, and the friendship is ruined — he’s lost her entirely.
Or, he asks her out, she says yes, but then things don’t work out, and everything is weird after that.
The scenarios of doom are endless. But one scenario is nearly guaranteed: If Thomas doesn’t ask her out or show his interest, she’ll never know he cares about her that way. And that, to me, is the saddest of all possibilities.
“I know it’s a problem,” Thomas told me. “I just don’t know how to fix it.”
Conquering the Daisy Complex
I gave Thomas two bits of advice… and told him I’d share his story with other young adult readers who might be struggling with similar fears. Here’s my advice. What’s yours?read more