Furthermore, with a divorce rate of 50% among married Catholics, are they really in a position to tell the Church they know what’s best for marriage? With a little reflection you’ll notice that the divorce rate didn’t skyrocket because people were listening to the Church.

It was Jesus who said you do not need the church to worship. That God was all around you.

My father died when I was a teenager. He did not see the important milestones in my life. I asked my Uncle, to walk me down the aisle in his place.

A year after I asked him, he was diagnosed with cancer. We hope he will still be with us for the wedding, and because of his frail state, we opted to have the ceremony, reception and overnight accomodations in the same place to limit his physical exertion. We are getting married on a hilltop vineyard that overlooks a lake. Its breaktaking.

But since its not in the church, I cannot get married by a priest. I feel abandoned because all I ever wanted was my Dad to walk me down the aisle. Since this can’t happen, I wanted my Uncle. I feel like the church standing in the way of this happening.

So say that it must be witnessed by community and where the community worships is illogical. The marriage is not being witnessed by the community (unless they are invited guests). When you get married in a church, its a private ceremony…the general public does not come. So this whole, “witnessed by the community.” is a moot.

I don’t have a problem with God. Its the people that work for him that have it all wrong.

Firstly, Jesus is present everywhere and is present in the disposition of the people saying their vows. Jesus in the gospels often prayed outside with his followers and also fed all those people in the open air on a side of the mountain. Secondly, the people who witness the scarament in the church would also be capable of witnessing the sacrament in a lovely room in a hotel or on the side of a mountain. Finally, Jesus, in a resurrectional scene, fed Peter and his fellow fishermen on the beach. So, therefore I do not think the arguments that have been presented in the above thread convince me that it is necessary to celebrate the sacrament of marriage in a church building in order to make it valid. I have attened many holy masses which were celebrated in many different locations e.g. hotels rooms, backyard and tops of mountiains and each and every time there was an air of reverence.

By the way, how do we know that when Jesus attended the wedding of his friends in the gospel that it was held indoors?

@Getting Married Outside–It is possible and quite common for priests to visit people in their homes to celebrate the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick.

I agree that the hoops you are having to jump through are ridiculous. For that, I apologize on behalf of Catholics everywhere. However, just because you are getting the run-around at the parish level does not mean that it is right to ignore the rules. As Catholics, the Catholic form of marriage is necessary for your marriage to be considered valid.

I recommend doing whatever is possible to be married within the church so that your marriage is sacramental. One possibility is to skip the limos. Another is to have a private ceremony at your local church and then a civil ceremony at the reception. Alternatively, perhaps you could just level with the parish officials and point out how ridiculous their regulations are – under Canon Law, you can never be denied a sacrament due to financial impracticalities. Finally, you can also ask about getting a dispensation from your bishop; in that instance, you can be release from your obligation as a Catholic to have the Catholic marriage ceremony.

I’ll be praying that the local parish officials come to their senses and that you make the right choice.

It’s too me a travesty that even sick individuals that have attended church every Sunday their whole lives can’t be visited for anointing of the sick in their homes. I think Jesus would say shame on you.

For me, what is at the root of all this is the manner in which most/all religions are exclusive… Why in the world would we want to exclude others who are attempting to exress their love and share the celbration with others.

I just feel that this ‘grasping’ or exclusiveness is at the heart of so much suffering in our world. What could be wrong about openess, acceptance, comapssion, and understanding.

What if LOVE and ONENESS with ALL That Is, actually included ‘all that is’.

God, Jesus, Life… The bottom line is we are all in it together… I believe it is time for openess, compassion, and understanding. When will we learn I wonder… When will we let go of excluding and starting bringing in others to our hearts and communities.

What feels better to YOU? Being told yes, no, right, wrong, do, don’t do… or being welcomed, loved, understood, accepted as you are… There’s a big difference and it big enough to start paying attention to.

Thank you to everyone who’s sharing their feelings on this. For me God IS me, IS the world around us… He’s EVERY thing and so I treat every thing with love and equality (as best as I can). And I guarantee you everyone at my peaceful outdoor wedding will feel ‘His’ power and will be thankful for ‘Him’ bringing us all together to celebrate the promises my Angel and I are making to each other.

“Amen”

For the most part, the reason for having mass in a church fits with Jesus’ baptism in the Jordan. People were worshipping in community at the Jordan and following John. I don’t think that they exactly had baptismal fonts back then.

Today, people worship in a church where the community comes together to pray. The marriage of two people needs to be recognized in community and therefore you need to go where the community is and not vice-versa.

Lastly, as a practical matter, with most masses on the weekend, priests can’t be flying and driving all over the place to do weddings AND be available for Saturday and Sunday mass.