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Busted Halo
feature: politics & culture
March 19th, 2003

The Single Catholic Guy

Dating Thoughts from Someone Who Nose

 
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I have a large nose. I have a bad sense of humor. I don’t date much.

Basically, by saying the first two sentences I probably didn’t have to add the third one, right?

And I spend a lot of time talking to my guy friends about why it is we’re still single (just as a side note, their noses and senses of humor are much more normal than mine–so I’m not sure what their excuses are…).

And you know what I tell them I’m looking for? A Catholic woman.

All right, I admit I usually add a bunch of other superficial things onto that list, but when it comes down to it–that Catholic thing is pretty important. So would you call me prejudiced? In today’s society, I know it sounds narrow-minded to only date someone of a particular faith. It may even reflect an attitude of times gone by…when you married within your own faith.

If I said I wouldn’t date an African-American woman, I’d sound racist.

If I said I wouldn’t date a woman without a job, I’d sound elitist.

If I said I wouldn’t date a woman without a great body, I’d sound sexist.

So is it all right to say I just want to date Catholic women? Is it okay to admit that our faith might be important enough that we want to have that common connection with our future spouse?

Maybe I’m just lazy. But if I marry someone who isn’t Catholic, that means I’d have the responsibility of going to Mass plus have to go with her to synagogue, or mosque, or some non-denominational church with a pastor who has Jimmy Swaggert-like sweat issues. And I’m too lazy to do two faith services in a week.

Plus, there’s the whole eternal life issue. I’d kind of like to spend all of eternity with my spouse (though I realize I probably being naïve by saying that). But if I think heaven exists, and she thinks we’re reincarnated (into aardvarks?), that’s a fundamental difference I’d have a tough time living with.

I do…I don’t…

But there are so many do’s and don’t's in dating that I never feel comfortable doing it. By “doing it” I mean bringing up religion on a date, mind you…

Do:
Be courteous.
Listen.
Exaggerate the truth. (I know dating is supposed to be all about information gathering–but in my case, it’s usually information concealing.)

Don’t:
Talk about religion.

Talk about politics.
Talk about any open sores.

So if religion isn’t brought up, when should I find out about the person’s faith?

The meet (or meat) market
Then the other question is: where should I be meeting
other single Catholics? There are young adult groups, there’s Catholic dating online opportunities, and of course, the ever-popular just go to church and check each other out.

I’ve got pretty funny jokes about each of those options–all

of which would offend, so I’ll keep them to myself. Sometimes single Catholics aren’t the most humorous groups around (—if you got offended by that, case in point).

So if you’re a single Catholic woman and would like
to date me, contact me care of Busted Halo…Hang on. This just in: I can’t shamelessly look for a date this way. Fine.

I guess I’m on my own. Maybe I should look into that nose reduction surgery…

 
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The Author : Lino Rulli
Lino Rulli writes from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
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