Comments on: What Works: The Welcoming Prayer

By: David Orth

David Orth — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 14:32:37 +0000

Hi, folks, I’m a little late in commenting here. I just want to point out that Mary Mrozowski, credited with developing Welcoming Prayer is using some of Eugene Gendlin’s language and parts of the 6 Steps of his “Focusing” process. This is an ancient spiritual skill variously called “inner attention”, “self remembering”, “knowing thyself”, “awakening”, etc. It would be very good for the Welcoming Prayer community to go back and read Focusing by Gendlin. Although he has stripped out the theological language of prayer, the tone is still there and most importantly he is much more clear on the precise relationship to the emotions that allows ultimately for the “letting go”. It is not a relationship of “immersion”, but more how you would attend to a little child – acknowledging it, noticing it, welcoming it, letting it be, but not letting it overtake the “house”. Also, Gendlin offers a clearer distinction between emotion (the reaction) and the feeling (more like sensation – an inner bodily sensation). Gendlin is not the source of these ideas any more than Mary Mrozowski is – it goes way back into the various spiritual contemplative traditions, but Gendlin parses this inchoate prayer/awakening into language and steps that are more easy for moderns to take in. If you read “Focusing”, you’ll see that Mary Mrozowski was clearly working from it, even using some of the language. The “letting go” language is tricky – Gendlin speaks of a shift that simply happens when the welcoming process is complete – more like God simply enables the reaction to soften. We most notice that it doesn’t not necessary just go away – more of a softening or shift. The metaphor of leaving things at the foot of the cross might be misleading. The Welcoming Prayer/Focusing does NOT walk away from emotion. It establishes a little distance (when we are overwhelmed), but welcomes it (when we are inclined to send it away), and finally notices the actual experiential shift or grace that comes when we ask it gentle questions and it speaks to us of what it needs. If you “walk away”, if you “let it go” without waiting until it is “ready to go”, then the process is not complete.

But really I hope some of you will read the book – to get a better picture of what Mrozowski might have been aware of. These are very powerful, but subtle spiritual things here. I’m glad to see the interest.

Blessings.

By: SC

SC — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 00:22:19 +0000

Chuck Superville – I might be able to answer your question from personal experience. The welcoming pray has three steps:
1) Identifying the feeling
2) Acknowledging the feeling
3) Determining the desire that is causing the feeling and letting go of the desire.

It is most important to address the desire because the desire is the root cause for the feeling. The other two steps will help you successfully address the desire. If you only address the feeling than you aren‚Äôt address the real problem. It would be like putting a Band-Aid on your toe after you stepping on something and cleaning it up. Your going to step on it again. The reason that the welcoming pray begins with the feeling is because the feeling is what is easy to identify but the desire isn’t. When you step on something, you know immediately that you are hurt, but you may not know what you step on. Starting with the feeling will help you to identify the appropriate desire to address. It is hard to clean up a mess if you have something sharp stuck in your foot. Likewise it is hard to address desires if you are in emotional pain. All steps are important. If you stepped on something you put a Band-Aid on your toe and clean up whatever you step on. Both are important.

Hope this helps. God Bless

By: chuck superville

chuck superville — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:38:34 +0000

great article. I think this is wonderful stuff. My understanding is that the afflictive emotion is caused by our desire for power, control, esteem, etc. When that desire is frustrated, we get angry, scared, etc. Q: Are we focusing on letting go of the bad emotion? or the desire for power, control etc.? If we are letting go of the emotions, then why do we pray to let go of the desire for control etc.? It really makes sense to me to focus on the emotion, and let it (the emotion go), but does not make sense to focus on the emotion and pray to let go of the desire. By teaching the ego that we are not going to “go there” any more with the bad emotion, it seems, we are dismantling the false self program enough so that we can begin to advance our spiritual life. What do you think?

By: Constance

Constance — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:20:20 +0000

Hello Phil, your site “Godcidentally” fell into my lap. Your subjects are so pertinent and timely, all of them. Thank you so much, I will be back.

By: Tanya

Tanya — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:50:28 +0000

Your columns are nourishing. I started doing this kind of “welcoming” a few years ago, when going through a tough time. Although I didn’t know what I was doing then, learning about it now helps me understand the process, what worked, and why. I wish I could have read your columns then! Still, it helps a lot now!

By: carmela

carmela — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:45:33 +0000

Thanks for the article. I did this some twenty years ago and gradually let it go. Surprisingly or Godcidentally I needed this today with a lifelong issue I can’t let go. Many Many thanks.

By: mairie gelling

mairie gelling — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:25:12 +0000

I use the backpack idea as well – I add more imagery as I have already created a sacred space garden in my head for meditation and i go through it clearing awasy the stones and brambles putting them in the bag and later giving them to God – I let him keep the bag too. Sometimes I do it with my students and they hold a stone during this meditation which they then drop into a bowl of blessed water. Symbolism is a great thing especially for beginners in meditation and when dealing with fear or anger.

By: Patricia H

Patricia H — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:10:21 +0000

I couldn’t have read this at a better time. Truly a God thing. And best of all my son emaied this to me. Thank you.

By: Aaron Cavanaugh

Aaron Cavanaugh — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:47:03 +0000

Hi,

I use this but not exactly the way you describe it. I had a counselor tell me to visualize a backpack of all your worries and setting them at the foot of the cross and then just walking away. This is in essence what the welcoming prayer is I think. Of course you need to stop and think and recognize what it is you are holding onto that is bad, destroying you or killing you. Sometimes you need to ask God what is it that I am holding onto to get clarification of what you need to put in that backpack.

Thanks. God Bless.

By: David G

David G — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:48:24 +0000

I’ve used Centering Prayer for over a year and it is really the best practice for me – it’s so simple that I thought I was doing it wrong when I first started. The Welcoming Prayer really is a real help dealing with those false self issues. Try it – it really does work!

By: Emily

Emily — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:26:48 +0000

This What Works series is really great!