Comments on: What Works: Can You Turn the Other Cheek?

By: V

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:44:25 +0000

“Turn the other cheek” does not mean submit to them. After all, in the ancient world Jesus was Incarnate in, smacking someone on one cheek was to punish a slave, and to smack someone on both cheeks was a way to punish family.

So you deny your slavery to your reactions, as well as your slavery to their actions by turning the other cheek.

It is NOT about putting one’s proverbial tail between one’s legs and whimpering off.

Self preservation is ok… unless you are chosen for martyrdom. But it’s not for everyone. :)

And being offed during a robbery isn’t exactly “in defense of the Faith.”

By: Phil Fox Rose

Phil Fox Rose — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:36:01 +0000

Marissa, thank you for raising this issue. My point is not that you should stand there and allow yourself to be hit. Acceptance does not mean approval, as I said. Acceptance is harder to embrace for those with a history of being taken advantage of or abused, because it can feel like you’re being asked to be victim. Not at all! The sacred truth is that to live in fear and to be cowed by those people makes you the victim. To accept them as the damaged people they are, perhaps while giving them a WIDE berth, means they don’t have control over you. So, absolutely, put yourself in a safe position; just don’t hate them or deny their personhood. Does that make sense?

By: Marissa L

Marissa L — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:34:34 +0000

Going off of a literal slap or punch:

Where do you draw the line between acceptance and personal preservation? I’ve given this a lot of thought, and perhaps my fear and judgment of people is unfounded, but I’m convinced that at least part of it arises simply because I’m a small woman, often burdened by a bag with several heavy books in it. I can’t out-run or out-fight anyone, and if I see someone who makes me nervous on the street or public transit, I will judge and put myself in the safest position I can.

Am I too attached to my own well-being, including not being cornered by people screaming in my face, or being stabbed on public transit (the first happened to me, the latter happened to others in the city in which I work).

The saints would probably not put their well-being first, but my instincts for survival are overriding any piety I might have.