By: Allen

Allen — Fri, 20 May 2011 14:14:23 +0000

John,
The Roman Catholic tradition doesn’t have specific time period that mourning is “done.” I don’t believe we have much in terms of traditions or laws that go beyond the burial of a loved one. Part of the brilliance of the Jewish Orthodox Laws is that they can act as a prescription of practices designed to comfort the mourner and guide him/her through the painful first year of grief. But, speaking as a Roman Catholic lay chaplain who has worked in an interfaith environment and encountered grief practices from many religions, I can say from my experience that all of our practices fall short of coming to terms with the realities of grief. I recently lost my beloved godmother and I was told by a wise friend who works in mental health that I would mourn her for as many years as I knew her. Cruel sounding intitially, but I think it may be close to the truth for many of us. Our “sunny side up” culture, influenced by pop psychology and other things, pressures us to always “be positive” and makes things like sorrow and mourning seem almost like an illness. But, from my experience, grief, especially for someone we deeply love, does become a permanent, painful part of our lives. I believe this is part of God’s mystery of death, which is as poweful and real as life. Maybe you could connect with someone at your parish or your neighborhood to talk about your wife, or explore ways to volunteer visiting the sick and the dying. This is also a difficult spiritual path, but helping others be the blessing you are looking for.

By: John Lodge

John Lodge — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 03:58:34 +0000

My question is: What is an appropriate period of time to mourn the loss of a loved one?
In the Jewish Orthodox faith, Jewish law provides for three successive periods of mourning following the burial. First Shiva which is the first 7 days; the second period is Shloshim which is 30 days from the day of burial; the third period is Avulet and terminates at the end of the 12th month of mourning from the day of burial. Thus the total length of time for mourning is one year. My spouse passed away Christmas Day (which is also my birthday), after 45 wonderful years together. It was very sudden and I am still mourning. I pray for the soul of my spouse three times daily, in the morning when I awake, mid-morning, before I leave for work and in the evening before I go to sleep.
I am curious as to what is considered an appropriate length of time for mourning the loss of a loved one, by the Catholic Faith? We are both Catholic all of our lives.
Thank you,
John
PS: Last month I asked this question of the Apologetics group on the internet and never received an answer. Could it be no one really knows? Or is it left to each individual to decide?

Comments on: Other Religions

By: Allen

By: John Lodge