Is It a Sin for an Unmarried Couple to Sleep in the Same Bed?

Question: I have a close friend. We spend so much time together, we also sleep in the same bed — no funny business. Is it a sin to sleep in the same bed and or house?

While the act of mere sleeping is not sinful in and of itself, this situation certainly lies in the danger zone of Catholic teaching. We call this the “near occasion of sin.” By sleeping in the same bed you are running the risk of the situation getting out of control. Perhaps you become more attracted to one another over time or more curious and attempt to take things a bit further. Perhaps you begin to notice your friend’s body more intimately and it begins to tempt you? Perhaps he/she has no feelings for you, but you begin to develop them and thus, it becomes hurtful when one gets rejected and disinvited from the intimacy of this sleeping arrangement.

There’s also a piece about intention here. Are you “sleeping” with your friend in an effort to one day get over the next hurdle of having sex? In other words, is this the first step in a series of progressions that will eventually lead to sex? My sense is that is at least somewhat on your mind, and therefore that’s enough of a reason to stop the behavior before it leads to trouble.