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Neela Kale Answers:
Let’s imagine that your friend were sober and broke your phone by sheer accident. Should she feel obligated to compensate you? Yes. She is responsible for the damage, much the way one would be responsible for breaking a dish in a china shop. The fact that she was drunk implies negligence and increases her responsibility, rather than mitigating it. (Consider how a drunk driver who causes an accident incurs greater penalties than a sober driver.) So of course she should apologize for what happened and pay for the repair of your phone. It is reasonable for you to expect that.
As far as whether or not you should demand payment, ask yourself about the nature of your relationship. Is it a strong friendship, which will weather this storm and emerge even stronger? Or is it a casual friendship, which will break under the strain? Is recovering the cost of the phone worth losing the friendship? Or is the friendship not worth keeping in the first place? As a Christian you are called to forgive – every time we say the Our Father we pray that God will forgive us our trespasses “as we forgive those who trespass against us.” But forgiveness doesn’t mean that we have to let people walk all over us, so you would be wise to avoid loaning your phone to your friend again. Only you can decide what you want your relationship with your friend to look like going forward.
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I say you should forgive her. Get a new phone on upgrade or repair the broken one and let bygones be bygones. Just dont let her borrow your phone when she’s drunk, God invented pay phones for a reason.
Your friend should replace the phone, no question. If she doesn’t bring it up, feel free to ask her. If she can’t or won’t, then you know something about her willingness to take responsibility for her own actions. Forgiveness will only be possible if your friend admits that there’s something to be forgiven, and tries to make amends.
One can only control what they can do. Perhaps your friend should replace it but you can’t MAKE her do it. So forgiving her is one option certainly. Asking someone to make restitution for this, is another matter as Neela astutely points out.
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