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The Busted Halo Question Box
Ask our spiritual experts virtually anything!
This is the place where you can ask all of those burning questions that you wouldn't dare ask in person. We will post questions here (using your byline only with permission); we guarantee an answer to everyone.

Have your own question? Then pitch it to us!

Caitlin Kennell Kim
Mary
Fr. Rick Malloy, SJ
General Questions
Fr. Tom Ryan, CSP
Ecumenical, Interfaith
Neela Kale
Culture, Moral Theology
Ann Naffziger, M.A., M.Div.
Bible
Mike Hayes
Swingman/Editor
 
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Our readers asked:

Should I offer a small offering of money to my pastor for doing my wedding on top of the church fees?


Neela Kale Answers:

Fees for a wedding ceremony go directly to the parish and are generally applied to administrative expenses: church upkeep and utilities, staff time and paperwork. The pastor receives a salary from the parish; weddings and other celebrations are part of his job and he isn’t paid according to how many he does. But, as you well know, a lot of time and energy goes into preparing a couple for marriage and into preparing for the wedding liturgy itself. Also, as you can probably imagine, the pastor isn’t paid very much – no one enters the ministry seeking to get rich! Thus it is gracious of you to offer a small sum to the priest who witnesses your marriage, as a way to thank him for his effort in helping you to prepare. The most important thing that will happen on your wedding day is the rite of marriage itself; it is more important than the dress, the flowers, the reception or anything else that you have in your wedding budget. Setting aside something for the person who makes it happen is a good way to remind yourself to focus on what is really important.

 
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The Author : Neela Kale
Neela Kale is a writer and catechetical minister based in the Archdiocese of Portland. She served with the Incarnate Word Missionaries in Mexico and earned a Master of Divinity at the Jesuit School of Theology. Some of her best theological reflection happens on two wheels as she rides her bike around the hills of western Oregon.
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