Busted Halo
googling god
The Busted Halo Question Box
Ask our spiritual experts virtually anything!
This is the place where you can ask all of those burning questions that you wouldn't dare ask in person. We will post questions here (using your byline only with permission); we guarantee an answer to everyone.

Have your own question? Then pitch it to us!

Caitlin Kennell Kim
Fr. Rick Malloy, SJ
General Questions
Fr. Tom Ryan, CSP
Ecumenical, Interfaith
Neela Kale
Culture, Moral Theology
Ann Naffziger, M.A., M.Div.
Mike Hayes
Our readers asked:

Why does Joseph initially decide to “divorce Mary quietly”? They weren’t even married yet, right?

Ginny Kubitz Moyer Answers:

The answer to this lies in the Jewish marriage customs of the time.  During this period, there were two distinct parts to the marriage process.  The first was betrothal, which was a binding exchange of consent made in the presence of witnesses.  Betrothal could only be ended by death or by divorce.

Following the betrothal, the bride remained with her family for a period of several months before moving into her husband’s home, where they lived together as man and wife.

At the time of the Annunciation, Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but they had not yet lived together (and, obviously, had not had sexual relations).  The news of her pregnancy, as you can imagine, would have been quite an unpleasant shock to Joseph.   When he wishes to “divorce her quietly,” it’s actually a generous decision on his part, considering that the penalty for adultery (which in this case, it is assumed that being true to one another as man and wife would be binding at betrothal) was death by stoning.  The angel of the Lord, of course, later tells him the true story of the baby’s conception, and Joseph welcomes Mary into his home.

The Author : Ginny Kubitz Moyer
Ginny Kubitz Moyer is the author of the award-winning book Mary and Me: Catholic Women Reflect on the Mother of God. She lives with her family in the San Francisco Bay Area and blogs at randomactsofmomness.com.
See more articles by (166).
Please note that the editorial staff reserves the right to not post comments it deems to be inappropriate and/or malicious in nature, as well as edit comments for length, clarity and fairness.
  • Jim Green

    How would Joseph have divorced mary QUIETLY? Send her away? How would that work out in practice?

powered by the Paulists