My husband and I bought a house this year — a huge decision for us that had to be made quickly in the ever-competitive housing market. While we were thrilled our offer was accepted and that we were able to own a house in our desired neighborhood, at times we couldn’t help but wonder: Did we make the right decision? What would our options have been like if we had waited another year? This house met almost everything on our wish list, but if we had kept looking, would we have been able to find a house that met 100% of our wishes? Did the perfect house in our price range even exist?
Whether it’s purchasing a home, starting a new relationship, or beginning a new job, life has many moments of uncertainty and “what ifs.” As a Catholic, I know that I need to place my faith in God and trust in the good plans he has for me. However, it is often very difficult to hand over control to God. Here are a few reminders that have helped me maintain a strong sense of faith when I’m taking a leap of faith.
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1. God can transform everything for our good.
I don’t believe that there is a perfect house, a perfect relationship, or a perfect job. Life will be full of hardship, even when we feel like we’re making the “right” decision. I do believe, though, that God loves us, wants what is best for us, and can transform any situation for our good.
For example, when I think about the COVID-19 pandemic, I often think about the sadness that came with the lost lives, loneliness, and distance from others. At the same time, it’s easy to point to how it helped telehealth become more accessible, and provided people with more flexibility through remote work, and reduced carbon emissions as people lessened their travel.
I believe that God was mourning with us during the tragedy of the pandemic, but at the same time, the good things that came from it were due to his ability to transform bad situations for our good.
God’s transformative power extends to the decisions we make in life. There is no “perfect decision” that is free from hardship or trouble. But I put my faith in the fact that God has the power to create goodness amid hardship. Knowing the goodness and power of God, I am inspired to find God in any situation, instead of worrying about the uncertainties of the future.
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2. Discernment provides clarity in decision-making
St. Ignatius of Loyola was very keen on the concept of discernment, or the reflection on where our desires come from and where they lead us. During moments when I am at a crossroads, I find it helpful to reflect on whether my desires are leading me toward or away from God. I think about whether I am making a decision out of spite or anger, or if I am making a decision out of love and selflessness.
When my husband and I got married, we set a goal to one day buy a house. We weren’t saving for a home just because we felt like it was the next step in life or something that we “needed to do.” We had reached the decision by intentionally reflecting on our desire to have a space where we could host our friends and family, care for others, and one day raise children.
Our planning and ultimate decision to purchase our house was rooted in how we could use it to serve others, not just ourselves. Reflecting on these desires as part of our discernment process helped us to keep Christ at the center of our decision.
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3. Consolation can hold many emotions, even negative ones
Ignatian spirituality teaches us that when we make decisions with love, gratitude, and generosity that bring us closer to God, then we are in consolation. On the contrary, when we make decisions filled with fear, anger, or selfishness that move us away from God, we are in desolation.
Being in consolation does not necessarily mean that we feel happy and at peace at all times. Even if I make a decision that leads me closer to God, I may still feel unsettled or uncomfortable. After all, doing God’s will isn’t always easy or comforting. At times, it can feel very difficult to give up control or put God above my worldly desires. For example, while it can be uncomfortable to say “no” when someone asks something of me that is beyond what my time and energy allow for, I believe that setting boundaries to protect my own well-being ultimately serves God.
Overall, we never know what the future holds or how our leaps of faith will turn out. There are no “perfect” decisions in life or ways to avoid all hardship. All we can do is keep God at the center of our decisions and trust that he has good plans for us.
