On August 9, the Church celebrates the feast of St. Edith Stein (1891-1942), a philosopher who took the name Teresa Benedicta of the Cross when she entered the Carmelite order. She was born in Breslau, Germany (now Wroclaw, Poland), the youngest of 11 children in a large Jewish family. When she was in her 20s, she read the autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila, and soon after converted to Catholicism, saying, “When I had finished the book, I said to myself: This is the truth.” In 1942, she was arrested, sent to Auschwitz because of her Jewish descent, and soon gassed to death.
Through her life and words — along with my own recent experience of Calvary — I have come to see the love that pours forth from Jesus’ suffering to us. “One can only gain a knowledge of the cross,” Teresa said, “if one has thoroughly experienced the cross. I have been convinced of this from the first moment onwards and have said with all my heart: ‘I welcome you, Cross, our only hope.’”
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Everyone has their own cross to bear. Personal suffering is real and vivid for all of us on our earthly journey. Recently, my experience of the cross has been revolving around the two most important women in my life: my mother, and my wife, Joanna.
My mom needed a kidney transplant early this June. Two weeks later, my wife learned that she has a benign cyst between her brain and pituitary gland. In both cases, my cross has been an inability to do anything to aid the health of two people I love with all my heart. I have had to watch these heroic and holy women experience all of the pains and challenges that come with chronic illness.
In the face of it all, their dedication to their faith has inspired me the most. My mother’s desire for the Eucharist on Sundays and my wife’s daily commitment to prayer have shown me why Edith Stein would choose the cross as a part of her new name as a religious sister. The cross clarifies our purpose and the call to place others before ourselves. They have given me a new perspective on what is most important in life: faith in God.
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Their sufferings have opened up the space for deeper conversations about life and faith that would have never happened if they weren’t sick. My mother’s condition has granted me the privilege of bringing her Holy Communion on Sunday. Many times, before or after, we speak about trusting in God despite the hurdles she faces.
Joanna and I have had endless hours of conversation since we were given the news about her cyst. So much of it has revolved around depending on our relationship with God, despite the fears that her condition brings to our minds. It has also motivated us to be more intentional about praying before bed together. Her condition has reminded us that our marriage must lean on the faith that it was built upon on our wedding day.
It has been a slow process of acceptance, but trusting in God amidst their health issues has challenged me to find God in the circumstances that have been given to me. The beauty of doing so is found in the following words from Teresa Benedicta of the Cross on accepting what comes to us in life:
“For by doing what God demands of us with total surrender of our innermost being, we cause the divine life to become our own inner life. Entering into ourselves, we find God in our own selves.”
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We must accept that the cross is a part of our lives: This is what these two illnesses have taught me so far. Surrendering to situations outside of my control has also pushed me to be more trusting in God as a faithful father. Today, St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross reminds us that trusting in the power of Jesus’ cross is our surest way to be united to him as we watch him conquer all things through the divine love shining from Calvary.
So, what’s your cross? Cling to it and see Jesus carrying his next to you. Then we can all take on the name of the cross like Teresa did, and win the victory that she now lives in heaven.
