If you want to have a life-changing Lent this year, switch your focus from giving up something to giving to someone.
As Catholics, we are often taught that Lent is a time where we make sacrifices and give something up. As adults, we approach the Lenten season as an opportunity to get healthier, giving up the devices and desserts that we recognize as antithetical to our health and happiness. In this way, Lent is like January 1 all over again — people making Lenten resolutions with the best of intentions, while missing the bigger picture.
It makes sense when we consider we live in a culture that is obsessed with work and self-improvement, which tempts us to look at Lent the same way. We say things like, “Think about how much better I would feel if I stopped eating sugar for 40 days and focused on eating healthy foods and exercising instead.” Or perhaps, “Imagine how much more time I would have for family and friends if I deleted my social media accounts for Lent.”
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While these improvements would be good for us, their orientation is backwards. We see the problems of the flesh but do not affirm the goodness of the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5: 22-23). Instead of the typical insular Lenten experience, try exercising the gifts of the Holy Spirit that focus on relationships. These fruits are best cultivated and expressed in our interactions with our neighbors. Therefore, if we want to experience more “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” this Lent, we must do so within our communities.
Here are a few ideas to help you connect with your community and cultivate the fruits of the spirit this Lent:
1. Host a meat-free pizza-making party
Take the guesswork out of meatless Friday dinner and invite some friends over for a pizza party. Provide the dough, sauce, and cheese and ask others to contribute vegetables, other toppings, a salad, etc. You can invest a lot of time into making the dough and sauce yourself or you can get them store bought, either way, your guests are sure to enjoy themselves.
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2. Ask someone out for a coffee chat (and make them feel seen)
There is nothing quite like having a conversation with someone who makes an active effort to focus on you — who makes you feel seen. Several semesters ago, one of my colleagues could tell that something was off with me and asked if I would like to go to lunch. She asked me how I was doing and I told her that I was exhausted, but in meeting after meeting, I kept hearing that I needed to do more. I confessed that I took this message personally; that I felt I was being called out for slacking off. When I finished, she pointed out that I was not only doing the duties that were expected of me, but I was also taking on extra tasks as well (like showing up for optional meetings). I’ve carried that moment with me ever since. Perhaps you could offer someone in your community reassurance that they are seen and valued.
3. Write a “thank you” note to someone who has recently helped you
This is going to sound very old-fashioned to some people, but I stand by it. Writing a note thanking someone who has gone through trouble can help cultivate a sense of gratitude in both the sender and the receiver. You never know when that person is having a truly low moment and just needs a little bit of encouragement to turn back to the light.
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4. Pray a Rosary for someone who has hurt you
Lent is the season of repentance and preparation for Easter Sunday. Perhaps you could pray for the grace to let go of your resentments and grievances and forgive someone who has hurt you. Resentment is a curved blade and we only harm ourselves by holding onto it. Exchange your resentment for your rosary and ask Mary to help guide this person to Jesus.
Whatever you decide to do this season, do it with the following perspective. Lent is a beautiful and powerful season in the liturgical life of the Church. The season and the story of Easter are so well-worn in our minds that we might not take the time to appreciate the enormity of what happened on Easter Sunday. Truly, our Lord Jesus Christ defeated sin and death so that we might all be reconciled to him for eternity.
It was Jesus who saved us all, therefore, we are not called to be saviors.
This is one of the most comforting messages to come out of Easter. As we prepare for the Lenten season, let us look for opportunities to share our talents and treasure with those around us, not because we are saviors, but because we are the hands and feet of the one who is.
