Valentine’s Day has many different associations for many different people. For couples, it is a day of romance, love, and buying chocolates for that special someone. For singles, it’s probably one of the most miserable days of the year. For many Catholics, however, the feast has become a day that’s lost its original meaning. So what is that original meaning? Why does this holiday exist?
To begin, we ought to call the day by its proper name, Saint Valentine’s Day. The holiday was originally a feast day for the Roman martyr Saint Valentine. The Roman Martyrology holds that Saint Valentine was killed near Rome, on the Flaminian Way. However, the Catholic Encyclopedia notes that there are three martyrs known as Valentine, and it’s possible that these men have all been conflated. The Bishop of Terni and a priest, both named Valentine, were killed in the same place and around the same time period, while a third Valentine was martyred in Africa. Traditionally, the Valentine that is given the most attention is the Bishop of Terni, but the others deserve mention.
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There are many legends attributed to Saint Valentine which have influenced his following and the practices surrounding his feast day. He was purportedly jailed and martyred for performing marriages against the decree of the emperor at the time, who sought unmarried men for military service. While in jail, he won the conversion of a judge’s daughter, whose sight he miraculously restored. He exchanged many letters with her, which were signed “from your Valentine.” We can see in this legend, then, his association with marriage and the practice of exchanging cards on Valentine’s Day. However, given the historical uncertainty of many of these accounts, I want to turn greater attention to practical devotion to St. Valentine, which I believe gives a better understanding of who this saint really is.
I can personally attest to the power of St. Valentine’s intercession. After my grandparents passed away, I learned that they carried a devotion to the saint, and that Saint Valentine’s Day held special significance for them. My girlfriend and I have also decided to make St. Valentine the patron of our relationship. When we pray together, we often invoke his intercession for our intentions, especially regarding our relationship and future. Additionally, I have a practice of praying a novena to St. Valentine for friends who enter new relationships. My intention with this prayer is that the relationship may be as God wills it to be. In most cases, these prayers have resulted in breakups. On the other hand, there has been at least one engagement and one successful relationship. One may ask, why should anyone have a relationship with this saint if the majority of the relationships I mentioned broke up after invoking his intercession?
LISTEN: Saints of Our Lives: Saint Valentine
This question goes to a fundamental understanding of what it means for prayer to be done rightly. When we pray, we ought to pray that God’s will be done, regardless of what we ourselves want. Whenever we feel as though our prayers are going unanswered, it’s likely the case that we’re asking for the wrong thing at the wrong time. When we lift our relationships up to God, he alone knows what is best for us, and if he knows a relationship is ultimately not good for us, he will break it off at the right time.
Despite all this, it is wise to remember the proper place of prayer in a relationship. If someone has a sound relationship that is built on God and the Sacraments, and is loving and healthy, prayer can only help, not harm, it. A broken relationship, on the other hand, that is fraught with problems and strife, needs both prayer and action to be resolved. The Benedictine motto “Ora et Labora,” meaning pray and work, should come to mind. A novena to St. Valentine, therefore, should be paired with proper discernment and love, especially if you’re praying it for your own relationship. I keep a close devotion to “St. Val,” and I hope I can share that devotion with others, so that we may rediscover and reclaim not only this great saint and martyr but also learn more about forming the right relationships and families for the Church and the nation. As Pope St. John Paul II said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.”
St. Valentine, pray for us!
