It’s that time of year again — crunchy leaves, pumpkin spice, wishbones, and pecan pie. Thanksgiving is around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than by hosting a Friendsgiving feast?
While I love gathering around the table with my family, one of the things I look forward to most during the year is Friendsgiving. I wait for it like a child waits for Christmas. I love the fall decor, the hearty dishes, and the liveliness, but most of all, I love seeing all my beautiful friends in one place — the way we would like to be more often but can’t always manage with busy schedules.
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I first celebrated Friendsgiving a couple of years ago with a small group of my girlfriends. We each brought a dish, and dinner went late into the night as we moved from the kitchen to the patio to the living room, talking and laughing all the while.
What I took away from that night is that Friendsgiving is more than just a chance to catch up with friends. It’s a spiritual experience. Spending time with women who I usually only spoke to at parties and brunches brought a new sense of intimacy and gratefulness to our conversation, fostered by the intentionality of Friendsgiving. We were brought together not only because we are friends but also because we are grateful that we’re friends.
Friendsgiving reminds us of our blessings and renews our commitment to our friendship — to serving and lifting each other up. (Thessalonians 5:11) This can strengthen our existing connections or create new ones, cultivating a spirit of togetherness and gratitude that ultimately points towards God.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that friendship is a “direct demand of human and Christian brotherhood” (CCC 1939) and the Bible highlights the importance of meaningful relationships (Romans 12:10). These themes lie at the core of Friendsgiving! Christianity has a long history of feasting as an opportunity to come together and celebrate the goodness of the Lord, remembering the blessings he has given us.
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In Christian theology, feasting with friends lives out the biblical principle of community. The Bible points to fellowship among believers: “They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts… and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (Acts 2:46-47). How inspiring to imagine the earliest Christians sharing meals as a form of praising God! Friendsgiving is a present-day manifestation of this practice — a modern way to break bread together.
There are several things to focus on when gathering to share a meal and give thanks. At the heart of any Thanksgiving meal is gratitude. Beginning your festivities with a prayer of thanksgiving is a wonderful way to acknowledge God’s provision and the gift of your loved ones. As you savor each dish, appreciate the hands that went into its preparation. I always make macaroni and cheese, my favorite childhood meal, and there are certain dishes I know friends will bring that everyone loves, like their signature macarons or the jalapeño poppers they only make once a year.
Encourage your guests to share what they’re thankful for to foster an atmosphere of warmth and connection. I have started a tradition at Friendsgiving where we pass around flowers and whoever holds the bouquet shares what they’re grateful for.
Incorporating Catholic symbolism into your decor and menu is another beautiful way to remember why you’re gathered together. Set the tables with candles to create ambiance as well as to represent the light of Christ. Evergreen wreaths are a lovely symbol of eternal life, while sprigs of rosemary add fragrance and represent remembrance. Holy cards or Bible verses at each setting add a thoughtful touch, and of course, a bouquet of autumnal flowers never hurts!
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As for the feast itself — create a seasonal menu that celebrates the blessings of the harvest season. Dishes of roasted root vegetables, sprouts, cranberries, pomegranates, and pumpkin soup paired with warm beverages like mulled wine or cider make for a cozy feast. Encourage guests to bring dishes from their cultural background or family traditions, creating a tapestry of diversity that demonstrates the inclusive nature of hospitality. For dessert, you could include soul cakes, a traditional All Souls’ Day treat alongside your favorite pie. This balance of Catholic tradition and seasonal celebration will create a memorable event for your guests.
Most importantly, foster an atmosphere of hospitality. Open your home to friends without family nearby and extend this generosity beyond your immediate circle by inviting newcomers to your community. Perhaps invite someone who might otherwise be alone, or donate to a local food bank. Friendsgiving isn’t about one lavish meal; it’s a spirit of gratitude and love that extends beyond the day. Generosity and hospitality are pillars of Christianity — the act of opening your home not only strengthens community bonds, but also creates a space where thankfulness is openly expressed, mirroring the biblical command to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) .
Friendsgiving is more than just a festive gathering — it is a meaningful expression of Christian community and all that it stands for. Whether you’re hosting a Friendsgiving feast or attending one, use the time to reflect on the goodness in your life and give thanks to the Lord. In doing so, you transform a simple meal into a celebration of faith, hospitality, and the blessings we’ve been given.
