“Are you going to be a nun? Have you thought of religious life? You look like a nun.” These were the kinds of questions and statements I heard during my many years of discernment. Whenever others saw my love for Jesus and the Catholic faith, they often questioned if I desired to enter into religious life. However, the Church tells us that all are called to be holy. Of course, we expect holiness from priests and religious, but single and married people are very much called to be holy in the world. Well, how does one truly know where they are called?
I’ve been drawn to the faith since a very young age. As I got older, I felt that the Lord continued to draw me closer to him mainly through the Sacraments, retreats, and my relationships with others. As I was about to finish college, I knew that finding a career was good, but discerning my vocation was the most important thing. I believed that God was either calling me to be married or a religious sister. Honestly, I felt very drawn to marriage, but did not want to close the door on religious life, knowing that God could still call me there despite my leanings. I did know that ultimately God’s will for my life would be where I’d be truly happy. A priest friend reassured me that God would make his will known.
LISTEN: How to Discern Your Vocation
As a result, I continued striving to live a good, holy life, though I continued to desire marriage. However, I was not yet dating and didn’t seem to be close to it until one day, when I met Samuel. Samuel and I met at a priest friend’s first Mass reception, and as we spoke, we realized we were very similar. We were both young, Catholic, striving for holiness, and questioning where God was calling us.
Samuel and I became friends and began getting to know each other. During this time, I wrestled with the vocation question. While I was happy to have met Samuel, I wondered if he could be a distraction from where God was truly calling me. However, with advice from a religious brother, a priest, and a saintly friend, I realized that I could continue journeying with Samuel and seeking what God wanted for our friendship. After we both unknowingly asked for St. Therese’s intercession, we took a leap of faith and began dating. The Lord continued to draw us to himself as well as to each other. We both realized that God was calling us to marriage. As a result, we got engaged on the Solemnity of St. Joseph and married on the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. It’s as if God was guiding us one step at a time, and we arrived at our vocations with a series of “yeses”: Yes to our Lord. Yes to what the Lord was putting in front of me. Yes to God’s goodness for my life.
Now that I look back on my story, it is beautiful and providential, but when I was in the midst of discernment, it was confusing and scary. From my experience, I have found many things to be true which I wish to share.
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Trust his timing.
I spent so much time asking “What is my vocation?” when I should have simply prayed about it and continued to enjoy the present moment. A vocation is not simply an “end goal” nor the destination. Heaven is. Our vocation is a path to get us there. Our eyes should be fixed on him, trusting that he will reveal the path he desires us to take. When we are focused only on him, we become pure of heart, seeking to hear his voice. Others (excluding a good spiritual director), while trying to be helpful, can sometimes make discernment more confusing. Seek only him and wait for his beautiful plan for you to unfold.
Be at peace and be honest.
One of the most important factors in discernment is to seek peace. I remember discerning if I should pursue foreign missionary work, but felt anxiety until I decided that this was not God’s will for me. After I let that idea go, I felt a great deal of peace. At times, there’s an ease and a naturalness that comes with accepting God’s will for us. That isn’t to say we won’t feel fear whenever the Lord calls us to something we may not have chosen for ourselves.
Sometimes, God calls us in places that are scary for us, yet with time, his will ultimately brings peace. It is also important to be honest with our desires. Do I want to be married because everyone else is getting married? Do I want to say yes to religious life because that seems easier and I won’t have to worry about worldly things? What has God placed in my life now? What do I truly desire?
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Keep your heart open.
No matter what you’ve done, where you’ve been, or who you are, God has a special mission for you. Trust that wherever he is calling you, it will be for your best. Do not be afraid to say yes to Jesus, wherever he calls, because he knows what will truly make you happy and where your holiness is found. We often remain paralyzed, not wanting to make a mistake in regard to our vocation. Do not be afraid to go if and when the Lord leads you in a certain path. He will give you the grace needed to follow his call.
Looking back, I really see the beauty in that difficult yet necessary process of discernment. Everyone’s journey is different. Yet, it is important to remember that his timing is always perfect. Today, as a wife and a mom, I know the Lord is encouraging me to be the daughter he wants me to be. He calls me to see holiness in the ordinary, humble parts of my daily life. God is here, and Our Lady is here helping me down this particular path toward our true home — Heaven. May the Lord enlighten you in your path of discernment wherever you find yourself that will lead you more to his Sacred Heart.
