Q: How do we reconcile the teaching to “love thy neighbor” and the traditions of Christian faith with controversial topics such as gay marriage?
Viewed from within, the Church believes its position on gay marriage is a stance of love. But sometimes what comes across instead is scorn or fear, stemming from ignorance of what it is like to stand in the shoes of gays and lesbians and their families. At times the Church fails to show love for neighbor because of this. (James Martin, S.J. offers excellent insight at http://americamagazine.org/issue/simply-loving.)
Conversely, viewed from within, supporters of gay marriage also take their stand out of love. But sometimes what comes across is scorn or fear, stemming from ignorance of what it is like to stand in the shoes of those who sincerely embrace the Church’s teaching on sexuality. Both sides could do more to listen with humility and respect and seek to understand the other’s position.
After a 2008 constitutional amendment prohibited same-sex marriage in California, then-Archbishop Niederauer stated that:
“Tolerance, respect, and trust are always two-way streets, and tolerance, respect and trust often do not include agreement, or even approval. We need to be able to disagree without being disagreeable. We need to stop talking as if we are experts on the real motives of people with whom we have never even spoken. We need to stop hurling names like “bigot” and “pervert” at each other. And we need to stop it now.”
(His full statement is at
http://www.sfarchdiocese.org/media/files/archbishop/ABN120108.pdf) Archbishop Niederauer’s words are a wise caution to all of us whenever we enter into discussion about any controversial issue. The greater the controversy we encounter, the greater love we are called to show.
