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A Fierce and Tender Love: Relating to Mary With Timothy O’Malley

Father Dave welcomes back Timothy O’Malley to discuss how we can better relate to Mary as our Blessed Mother. O’Malley is associate director at the McGrath Institute for Church Life at the University of Notre Dame, and the author of the new book A Fierce and Tender Love: 7 Meditations on Mary, Mother of God.

O’Malley explains why he views Mary’s love as fierce and tender. “I wrote this book a little for folks who are suspicious of Marian devotion,” he begins. “Mary is the one who says yes to the will of God, who bears in her womb the Son of God, and then unleashes upon this world this revolutionary love that goes against all power and prestige. In every church throughout the world, there’s an image not of power, but of a mother holding her son.”

WATCH: Mary in Two Minutes

He unpacks Pope Francis’ words which call us all to a “revolution of tenderness.” O’Malley says, “When the word became flesh and God became human, what unfolded was a total transformation of everything. …If I were God and I were to redeem the world, I would do it through power. I’d want to show that I’m the one and that I’ve come to save you. Yet God becomes human; an infant, like any other.”

“That’s the revolution of tenderness, that God is to be found not in power, but in the most self-emptying act you could imagine,” O’Malley continues. “That’s a revolution, because now the Church is that communion. We’re not a communion of those gathered around power, prestige, fame, and fortune, but we are called to preach and live out a revolution of tenderness.”

O’Malley explains why Catholics venerate Mary as the Mother of God. “If God was really to become human and join in everything that it means to be human, then God really needed to be born and needed a mother,” he says. “My daughter, before she knew anything about Christianity, understood right away even as a young child that that woman holding a baby mattered. Mary captured her imagination earlier than the Eucharist or anything else.”

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He reflects on how the early days of parenthood helped him relate to the Blessed Mother. “I took the night shift [of feedings], and I came to recognize the exchange of love that occurs when someone holds their kid, feeds them, and is there for them. It certainly changes the kind of tender love that you have for this creature,” O’Malley says. “God knows that part of the human condition and wanted to have a mother, and I’m very moved by that. That transformed my devotion to Mary, once I understood the love that you could have for a child, and that God shared in that and had that love in return.”

Krista reflects on O’Malley’s words as a mother of two. “The fact that I have a shared experience with the Blessed Virgin Mary feels insane. It feels impossible, but it is real, and that’s the beautiful miracle of it,” she says. “The fact that you can lean on Mary as someone who understands what you’re going through as a parent has definitely changed my connection through the years.”