Father Dave welcomes author Michael Carlon to discuss his new novel “The Waiting Room” which reframes how we journey with those close to death.
“The Waiting Room” tells the story of two families who meet in a hospital waiting room on Christmas Eve while holding vigil for their dying family members. As the families navigate their loved ones’ transitions from this world, they confront fears around death as they ultimately embark on a journey to healing.
Michael explains that while the book is fictional, the story draws from his own life experiences. “The concept of a waiting room was something that I was very familiar with, having lost both my brother and my mother in the span of a year of each other,” he says. “I spent a lot of time in waiting rooms, and like one of the lead characters in the story, I had to make some very difficult phone calls from a waiting room. That’s really where the genesis of this book came from.”
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They highlight forgiveness as an important theme both of the book and in real-life relationships with those nearing death. “Having closure at the end of life is very important. You don’t want to let anything be left unsaid between yourself and someone you love, because you’re not going to get another chance on this side to say goodbye,” Michael says. “There’s a phenomenon that happens when people are dying — let’s say they’ve been in and out of consciousness for a couple of days — then they will get a burst of energy. I saw this with my mom and my brother. They will get a burst of energy towards the end, and all of a sudden start talking and saying things that they want to say.”
“In the case of my mom, the past couple years she was really battling dementia, so her short- term memory was not very good,” Michael continues. “But then she sprung up and started talking to us clear as day, and she was able to say her final goodbyes and ‘I love yous.’”
Father Dave reflects on the image of a waiting room. “We don’t like to wait, and we certainly don’t like to sit in a sterile doctor’s office or hospital waiting room, waiting for some doctor to come out and say, ‘yes, you can go in,’ or that the person has passed away. Those are just the worst moments. Yet, there’s a part of our faith that is about waiting. It’s what Advent is about and what we are now in this life, as we’re anticipating eternal life.”
Michael responds, “Tom Petty said it: ‘The waiting is the hardest part.’ It is difficult, and [especially] when you’re waiting for something bad to happen…I use the the setting of the waiting room in this book as a literal waiting room, but also as a sort of in-between space where one might review one’s life and the decisions that that you have made.”
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He highlights the importance of being present with a person in their final days. “That’s when you really find that you can do hard things as well,” Michael says. “You see somebody you love struggling, but you have to go in, you have to hold their hand, and you have to look them in the eyes. You have to bring comfort in those moments.”
Michael reflects on being present for his mother and brother’s final moments. “It really weighed heavy on me, and I needed some pastoral counseling,” he says, noting his parish priest offered support. “Father David Roman helped me understand that Jesus, with the story of Lazarus, experienced death [of a loved one] as well. This wasn’t anything necessarily unique to me, but he really just helped me process it as more of a gift. It was something that happened for me, not something that happened to me.”
