Busted Halo
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Neela Kale :
159 article(s)

Neela Kale is a writer and catechetical minister based in the Archdiocese of Portland. She served with the Incarnate Word Missionaries in Mexico and earned a Master of Divinity at the Jesuit School of Theology. Some of her best theological reflection happens on two wheels as she rides her bike around the hills of western Oregon.
March 22nd, 2012

The image of marriage in popular culture, as presented on “The Bachelorette,” is a serious distortion of the real meaning of marriage, as understood in the Catholic tradition. Both involve two people expressing love for one another and making some kind of promise. But the scripted, syrupy progression of love on reality TV — heavy on romance and sexual attraction, light on sacrifice and profound commitment — can’t hold up to the stresses of real reality.
One of the underlying questions in Catholic morality is, “Who do I want to become, and how can I get there?” Rather than just asking if something is a sin and acting accordingly, asking this question helps you grow into a better person.…

March 15th, 2012

Did your future brother-in-law do something silly and harmless, or was it inappropriate enough that you have concerns for your sister’s well-being? If his behavior reveals a pattern of disrespect for himself, for your sister, and for the marriage vows he is about to take, there is more at play than one evening’s indiscretion.
A good approach might be to speak with him first. Tell him that you are concerned about what you saw because of what it might mean for the future. Suggest that he talk about it with your sister — if something serious happened, it’s better for her to hear it directly from him. But if he’s defensive about it, then you probably should speak with her. If her fiancé’s behavior at his…

March 8th, 2012

The Masons are a worldwide fraternal organization which originated in 18th century Europe. Membership includes ritual practice, charitable activity and adherence to a moral code; members seek to develop a broader sense of the self in relation to the divine. Masons must declare belief in a supreme being, but more specific views are not required. Hence Masons admit members of any religion, but many tenets of Masonry directly conflict with Church teaching. Masons hold a deistic rather than personal view of God, which precludes the Catholic understanding of God as Father, Son and Spirit. They also take a relativistic view of truth and religion, while Catholics believe that objective truth does exist and can be…

February 23rd, 2012

Question: If I caught a student cheating, but he’d lose a scholarship to a good college if I turn him in, should I look the other way? He is poor and from the inner city.…
This is a complex moral dilemma. Catholic moral teaching is that one cannot do evil that good may come of it — thus in spite of his noble goal of going on to college, the student’s cheating cannot be justified. Similarly, no matter how noble your goal of ensuring his scholarship, you cannot justify overlooking his dishonesty. However, the Church also recognizes that any moral act is comprised of the object, the intention and the circumstances. No moral act happens in isolation; the object (the nature and severity of the particular act of cheating),

February 22nd, 2012

If you’re already familiar with the US Bishops’ document Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship, you’re off to a good start. This document, reissued in 2011 in anticipation of the presidential election cycle, helps Catholics discern how the teaching of the Church can apply in matters of public policy. Check out the USCCB website at http://www.faithfulcitizenship.org/ for the full text of the document and many other excellent resources. Your next step should be to inform yourself more deeply about the particular issues that are at stake. What policies are being proposed on your local or state ballot, and what does the Church have to say about these issues? What local, state and national offices…

February 16th, 2012

As Catholics participating in civic life we have the responsibility to inform ourselves about candidates and issues and to form ourselves with the teaching of the Church, rather than blindly (or lazily) following any kind of party line. Thus you should ask if the positions of the Tea Party are in keeping with the principles of your Catholic faith. The Tea Party, actually a coalition of local and national groups rather than a political party, promotes fiscal responsibility, constitutionally limited government and free market economics. A key principle of Catholic social teaching which can be instructive here is subsidiarity — the idea that decisions should be made at the most local level possible in…

February 9th, 2012

The Catholic Church’s teaching on all aspects of human sexuality is derived from our belief that God created human beings, male and female, out of love, and gave us a special vocation to love and to communion. As summarized in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “the union of man and woman in marriage is a way of imitating in the flesh the Creator’s generosity and fecundity” (CCC, 2335). Thus much of our teaching on sexuality flows from reflection on that special union of man and woman. We believe that certain sexual expressions are reserved to that sacramental union. We also teach that sexual intimacy between a husband and wife has twin purposes: their union, as a couple, and procreation, expressed…

February 5th, 2012

Q: I’m a college basketball player. Am I bound to wear the Nike swoosh on my jersey and wear their sneakers if I have a problem with their human rights record? The school has an exclusive deal with them.
To answer your immediate question, look closely at the terms of your agreement with the school. You are probably required to wear your official team gear when you play or travel in representation of the college. Talk with a coach or counselor to find out if there is a conscience exception. If there isn’t, draft one and submit it to the appropriate campus official. To address your larger question, recognize that as a leader on your campus, you have an opportunity to use your status to work for change. Tell everyone that…

January 22nd, 2012

Q: As a real estate agent can I ask for a price above fair market value if I believe that the client will pay it anyway?
A: In negotiating a real estate transaction, you must consider the value of the property, your own time and effort, any additional costs associated with the sale, and the needs and means of the clients you represent. We depend on the market to weigh these valid competing interests. But the market, shaped by macroeconomic forces, does not always reflect the understanding of justice found in Catholic social teaching. A good question for you to ask yourself is: What is just? It is just for you, as the real estate agent, to receive appropriate compensation for your labor. It is just for the purchaser to pay…

December 22nd, 2011

One beautiful Christmas tradition in the Philippines is the novena known as Simbang Gabi, from Tagalog words meaning “night worship” (sometimes translated as “misa de gallo” or “mass of the rooster” because of the early morning hour at which these masses are celebrated.)
Spanish missionaries instituted the custom of celebrating masses on the nine days before Christmas, bringing together the entire community to prepare for the birth of Christ; the early morning hour allowed fishermen and farmers to participate before setting out for the day’s labor. After the Simbang Gabi masses, villagers would socialize and share festival foods.
Today Simbang Gabi masses are celebrated not only in the…

November 24th, 2011

Marriage in the Catholic Church is different from civil marriage. It is no mere legal contract, easily made and easily broken; rather, it is a covenantal relationship in which a man and woman commit their whole selves to each other, in love and fidelity, for the rest of their lives. The Church recognizes marriage as a sacrament, a special sign of God’s love in the world for the couple and for those around them, especially any children that they are blessed to have. In short, it’s a big deal. So the Church wants to be absolutely certain that couples enter into marriage only after the proper preparation that, with God’s grace, allows them to freely make this commitment and be true to it for richer or poorer, for better…

November 17th, 2011

Fees for a wedding ceremony go directly to the parish and are generally applied to administrative expenses: church upkeep and utilities, staff time and paperwork. The pastor receives a salary from the parish; weddings and other celebrations are part of his job and he isn’t paid according to how many he does. But, as you well know, a lot of time and energy goes into preparing a couple for marriage and into preparing for the wedding liturgy itself. Also, as you can probably imagine, the pastor isn’t paid very much – no one enters the ministry seeking to get rich! Thus it is gracious of you to offer a small sum to the priest who witnesses your marriage, as a way to thank him for his effort in helping you to prepare. The…

November 10th, 2011

If you’re planning a Catholic wedding, then you and your fiancé have been working closely with your priest throughout the preparation process. He has probably met with you many times, helped you to arrange for an engaged encounter and/or marriage preparation classes, and guided you through the liturgical planning for the ceremony. Over this time you have come to know each other fairly well and he has become an important support for you as you prepare to enter the sacrament of marriage. Not only is it appropriate for you to invite him to the reception, but it is also a kind way to thank him for helping you on the journey. He would be delighted to celebrate with you – priests enjoy a good party as much as anyone else!…

November 3rd, 2011

Priests should dress tastefully and modestly, just as we all should, whether they are “on” or “off” duty. But, except for members of some religious orders that wear habits, they don’t have to follow any specific dress code. Black clothes and the Roman collar are extremely common for parish priests in the United States but are certainly not required. Depending on the community in which a priest is serving, he may never wear them or may wear them only on special occasions. Some priests may choose to dress in black and wear a Roman collar when they are at work, and then to wear different clothes when they are out of the office or away from the parish, as a sign to others (and to themselves) that they are taking a day…

October 27th, 2011

If your only disagreement with your family about your wedding has to do with your aunt’s voice, you’re probably ahead of the game. But in the interest of family harmony, rather than reminding your mom that your aunt is no American Idol, get someone who’s a little removed from the situation to make your point for you. If you’re concerned about her singing during the liturgy, ask the parish wedding coordinator to help you arrange for musicians from the parish music ministry; you can tell your family that the church gives preference to its trained liturgical music ministers. If you’re concerned about her singing at the reception, give the DJ a heads up and ask him/her to keep things rolling and not give up the…

October 20th, 2011

Although Roman collars, habits and wedding rings are widely recognizable signs of the wearer’s life commitment, these visual markers are customs, not requirements (except in the case of some religious orders that do require the habit.) The fact that a person is not displaying one of these signs does not automatically mean that he or she is available for romantic attachment: engaged people, those called to the single life and those who for the time being are not seeking relationships, for example, are also unavailable, but don’t necessarily have an easy way to show it. No one should be deceptive about whether or not he or she is open to an exclusive relationship. Thus a seminarian should be forthcoming and firm…

October 13th, 2011

If your dog is a service dog and you or another member of your wedding party depend on it in order to participate in the liturgy, then you should be able to include the dog. You can even put a bow on its collar if Fido will tolerate it! But you can’t have a pet in your wedding for any other purpose. Liturgy, by definition, is the work of the people – it is the way that we come together to celebrate who we are and glimpse who we are called to become as the people of God. Even though pets are increasingly accepted in public places in the United States and some people think of their animals as members of their families, pets are not, in fact, people. Animals are a beautiful part of God’s creation, to be sure, but only humans are made…

October 13th, 2011

The best answer to your question is that you should first make an appointment with your parish priest. Each person’s situation is different and each annulment case is unique; your priest will work with you through the process and guide you through the steps that are necessary for you.
As you are considering an annulment process, another preliminary step is to gather the documentation necessary to present an annulment case. This includes the civil marriage license, the civil divorce decree and any baptismal certificates, if either or both of the former spouses are baptized. If you are seeking an annulment of a prior marriage because you wish to re-marry, your intended future spouse will also need to provide…

September 8th, 2011

Does your workplace have a dress code? If so, remind your employee that when she was hired she agreed to follow it. Review the dress code with her during her performance evaluation or at another appropriate opportunity. If you’re a man, you might ask a trusted female colleague to have this conversation with your employee; she may even be able to make tactful suggestions about wardrobe adaptations. Consider this an opportunity to help your employee learn an important lesson and improve her professional demeanor.
If you don’t have a dress code, this might be the time to institute one. It’s important to keep expectations clear and consistent so that no individual feels targeted; it’s also important that…

August 25th, 2011

Imagine that an opposing team’s player found your team’s playbook and wanted to share it with his teammates. Would that help you to answer your own question? The eighth commandment (do not bear false witness against your neighbor) calls us to respect the truth, and that involves a respect for private information and legitimate secrets. Even though you obtained the playbook by accident (as opposed to, say, by stealing it), it contains confidential information. The other team’s mistake does not give you permission to violate its private material. Consider an analogy to physical (rather than intellectual) property: If you had found a new football belonging to the opposing team, would it be yours to keep?…

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