Busted Halo
Features : Sex & Relationships
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August 10th, 2002
Your Summer Romance Could Be Divine

Men and women of a certain age were simply unable to reach maturity without attending some social event that featured the soundtrack from the movie Grease, particularly that portion in which the phenomenon of the summer romantic fling is celebrated (or, more specifically, as the song goes: “Oh, those su-um-mer nigh-igh-ights…….”). This was John Travolta’s—and, quite possibly, America’s—finest hour.
I’m not precisely sure what it is about summer that makes us more apt to release our phone numbers to the opposite sex; perhaps we’re simply trying to avoid the loser status of the one-seat line at the roller coaster.
What I do know is that you can also…

June 2nd, 2002

As someone who has dated people that he has worked with, I speak from experience. It’s the best of times and the worst of times.
Here’s the upside:

Smooches during the day are always good.
You always have someone to go to lunch with.
Work schedule conflicts are minimal.
Someone understands your plight when you complain about the boss.

Of course there’s always the downside:

Need to always look good at work.
Never get any work done because you’re daydreaming about what she’s doing.
She tells people about how romantic you are and the guys think you’re a wuss.
Getting that massage from your honey gets dirty looks from the boss.

Seriously, it was really hard to stay focused at work…

May 10th, 2002
While You're Away

Recently, I (Mike) had to go away for a few days on business. It was the first time Marion and I had spent time away from each other since the wedding. While I (Mike) was kept busy and distracted from missing Marion with the demands of the conference I was attending, the experience was quite different for Marion.
Of course I (Marion) had been away from Mike before. The last time Mike was away was when we were planning the wedding. That particular weekend my sister called me five or six times to keep me distracted, asking me questions about the wedding. This time it felt different. We always get to re-connect at the end of our day. Mike and I always have dinner together and talk about the day’s events. There was one day…

May 3rd, 2002
It Takes Someone Special to Be a Dad

Daddy always gets the big piece of chicken.
At least that’s what Chris Rock says. In a recent comedy routine, Rock stated that moms always get better presents on Mother’s Day than any dad gets on Father’s Day.
“Everything’s always for the mommy. ‘Did you tell Mommy how good she looks?’ ‘Did you get Mommy something nice for Mother’s Day?’ Everything’s for the mommy. The only thing daddy ever gets is the big piece of chicken!”
Dads really are unappreciated sometimes. Rock said in the same routine that nobody ever says, “Hey Dad, thanks for knocking out the rent this month!”
Mike’s dad has this quiet confidence.…

April 30th, 2002
Remembering and Celebrating on Our First Anniversary

It’s been a year since we took that walk down the aisle. We’ve had a year filled with happiness, but it’s also been a difficult year because Mike’s mom spent half the year in the hospital and Marion’s grandmother has had her share of health problems as well.
In our first year we learned that marriage is about two people who are there to support one another no matter what comes their way. It’s about commitment, making a conscious decision to love your partner despite the difficulties.
The big day Our anniversary day was reminiscent of our wedding day. We went to the restaurant where our wedding reception was held, and we were filled with the memories of our special day. We even looked…

April 29th, 2002
Finding meaning under the covers

A year ago, my favorite morning ritual was to sit on my porch, drink coffee, and wave to the sad university students strolling to 8:30 classes. Then, I got married. I moved far away from my porch and surrendered coffee for green tea. One dawn, as I lay under the covers, I realized: I need a new routine. Then, I rolled over, snuggled into my husband’s warm hug, and found it.
It’s great: the alarm chirps, I roll towards Steve, and Steve hugs me. We lie together for a half hour, chatting and dozing and just passing time. He kisses my forehead. I stroke his hair. We talk of crazy dreams and plans for the day and, invariably, check the clock. We get up. He showers. I boil water. By the time we sit down for breakfast, I want…

April 20th, 2002
The Wedding of the Year

April 20th–Our big day. All the preparation was done and our day had finally arrived.
Marion had a whole morning of preparation with her bridal party. “We all gathered in my sister Vera’s room, at the hotel and had fun laughing and talking while our hair was being done.” Vera gave Marion their mother’s Communion and Confirmation prayer books that were family keepsakes for many years. (Marion’s mom died when she was in college) This gift moved both Marion and Vera so much that they both started crying.
Mike and his best man, Crash (as he is known), stayed overnight at the parish rectory (courtesy of Fr. Brett) the night before the wedding. They were able to wake up and get all of those…

April 5th, 2002

Believe it or not, the other day a few friends and I fanned out in pairs around a tourist spot in Santa Monica, California, and asked people for their opinions on what needed to happen to end clergy sex abuse in the Catholic Church.
We listened to Catholics, Jews, Muslims, younger people, older people, Asians, whites, Latinos, and African-Americans.
The answer behind the answer
When I asked this variety of people-on-the-street what it would take to stop the abuse, most concluded, “Priests should be allowed to get married.”
Now we know that married men also have problems with pedophilia, so getting married isn’t a cure-all to what ails the priesthood. There had to be an answer behind this answer.…

April 4th, 2002

I knew a local cartoonist out in California named Paige Andersen, who one year near Election Day rendered drawings of improbable right-wing and left-wing extremists. I don’t remember the details. The right-winger was probably armed to the teeth, dispensing tax cuts as confetti, while the left-winger sported a pony tail and carried government cash ready to throw at any problem. I do recall that both drawings had arrows pointing to the respective extremist’s back pocket with the words, “Votes his pocketbook.”
As another election comes and goes, this part of the cartoon vividly comes back to me. It makes me wonder if polls ask the wrong question at election time. It may be we need to ask…

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