The Sisterhood: Becoming Nuns is a new Lifetime series following five twenty-something women who are considering taking vows to become Catholic sisters. Cameras follow the young women as they live and work together alongside nuns in several different convents. Busted Halo’s® Jennifer Sawyer caught up with cast member Stacey Jackson to talk about her very public journey of discernment.
Jennifer Sawyer: When did you first begin to consider a religious vocation?
Stacey Jackson: When I was 12 years old, I told my grandma that I wanted to be a nun, so it’s something that’s been in my head since I was young. I’ve also always been a bit of a community junkie, and I’ve been fortunate enough to have really great Catholic communities all throughout my life, so I’ve always recognized the value and importance of a faith community.
When I turned 15, I fell in love with musical theater, and those theater ambitions took over — making it as a performer became the most important thing to me. Two years ago, I got the opportunity of a lifetime when I was asked to join the national tour of “Beauty and the Beast.” It was an incredible experience to sing and perform across the U.S., but while I was on tour, it was a very lonely time. I was the only one going to Mass for nearly a year, and it really wore on me. I missed that Catholic community so much. When I came back from the tour, I really started asking what it was that God wanted of my life, instead of what I wanted, which was up to that point, theater.
SJ: I see it as meeting people where they are. When I decided to participate in the show, someone who was trying to dissuade me asked, “Why you?” I just thought, “Well, why not me?” This is my honest journey, and if I have the opportunity to be a witness in this way, I want to embrace it. This is our generation — we’re watching TV, we’re online, we’re keeping up with reality figures. Why not use that for good if I have the chance?
I realize it’s an unusual concept, and I went through a lot when considering whether or not to participate. I was concerned about it messing with my head and getting in the way of my discernment. I questioned the production company frequently, told them my doubts, and through that questioning, I began to understand that they were serious about portraying the faith accurately.
I turned to St. Therese, who I’ve always felt close to, and prayed a novena. Because Therese is known as “the little flower,” I asked her for a flower at the end of nine days. The day after I finished the novena, I was at a carnival, and someone came up to me and just handed me a flower — it was really unbelievable!
So, I went into it with a lot of certainty that this is where I’m meant to be right now. But it was a process getting there, that’s for sure.
JS: How did people react to your decision to participate in the show?
SJ: My family was very supportive of the discernment process, but the idea of being on TV was difficult for them. They understandably had a lot of questions and a lot of doubts, but my parents have always emphasized that whatever God wants for me, they’re happy to have take place.
I do get a lot of raised eyebrows from Catholics, because discernment is usually a very private process, but the way in which this process took place on camera was very respectfully done. In the end, it was an authentic journey.
JS: What was the most difficult part of the process?
SJ: The most difficult part is definitely the idea of giving up marriage and a family. I ended my last relationship in order to discern, and that was a struggle. I thought that when I ended the relationship, that would be the end of the battle, and my mind would be free and clear to discern, but it still played into my discernment on the show because I really was struggling with the idea of never having my own children. I’ve always wanted a big family.
I know that God works with our desires, but it is difficult listening to my own desires, and yet also being willing to give them up, if that’s what God is asking of me.
JS: Were you ever concerned about the way you would be portrayed? Or how Catholicism would be represented on screen?
SJ: It was a huge concern. The prideful part of me was really scared. What if they don’t make me look good? But it’s also been really good at keeping me accountable, causing me to look at why I care so much about how other people see me.
As for making the Church look good, I really think that the production team had that first and foremost on their minds. The way it was conducted was extremely respectful to the sisters. They’re really going to be portrayed as spiritual superheros, and the challenge of us five women discerning is can we live up to that challenge. I do expect the Church to be portrayed in a positive light, but I had to ask a lot of questions before I got there.
JS: Did the production ever get in the way of you actually discerning?
SJ: You know, discernment is such a dramatic process, the drama is sort of built right in. They [producers] really didn’t have to fabricate anything. They were kind of like flies on the wall. You really forgot that they were there.
It was a true discernment experience for me. Grace is given where grace is needed, and I was able to have authentic prayer with the sisters and in the service work that we were doing, and authentic discernment. We had lots of opportunities for prayer and time with the sisters off camera as well. The experience met and exceeded my expectations.
JS: What do you hope people get out of the show?
SJ: I hope people get an authentic glimpse into the beauty of religious life. I hope that the mainstream audience, Catholics and non-Catholics alike, will learn something about sisters that they never knew before, and be inspired to learn more about religious vocations.
I think that a show like this makes religious life accessible. I hope that young women, who perhaps would never have considered this a real, viable option for their lives will now start to look at this as something that they want to do. Discerning a religious vocation takes an attraction to that life, but it also takes seeing people you admire pursue it. Hopefully more vocations can come out of it!
I’ll be keeping all of the viewers in my prayers every day, and if anyone would like to connect, or has questions about discernment, it would be my pleasure to talk.
Interview conducted, condensed, and edited by Jennifer Sawyer