Busted Halo
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February 27th, 2003

Information Age

Real Facts from Snapple and from the Almanac of Life

 
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Do you like Snapple? I like Snapple. Not only is there a treat inside every bottle, but there’s even a treat on the outside. Often, right on their label, you’ll find funny, goofy text describing the ingredients or the product. For example, on a bottle of Raspberry Ice Tea, it says, “Berry-ed Treasure” next to an illustration of raspberries. On the Kiwi Strawberry label, it has a teeny-weeny kiwi and a tiny strawberry with the words, “Separated at Birth,” and arrows pointing to the fruit in question.

Real factoids
Now, they even have treats under every Snapple bottle. It’s part of their “Collectus Cappus for Stuffus” campaign. What you’ll find underneath the cap when you pop the top is a “Real Fact.” For example,Real Fact #89: The average American walks 18,000 steps a day. Kinda makes you go, “Hmmm, interesting.” How about this one: Real Fact #86: Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money in Siberia.

God bless Snapple for not only quenching our thirst, but for doing their part in quenching our insatiable quest for interesting?albeit useless?information. Snapple knows that people today love information. In spite of complaints about “information overload,” we can’t seem to get enough statistics, data, background info, little known factoids, trivia, gossip, and inside scoop. We can’t live without our beloved Farmer’s Almanac, now can we?

Bringing our best stuff
I’m glad the folks who brought us The Best Stuff on Earth are trying to go above and beyond the call of their product to give us a little more than we bargained for. But what about the real Real Facts we need to think about? Those things that we should consider while we are still on earth, that help us bring our best stuff.

Don’t you wish there was a beverage with a cap that gave answers to those nagging questions that seem to percolate whenever we stop long enough to listen to that deep, inner voice? Questions like, Who Am I? and, What Is Life All About?

From the almanac of life
Then there are those questions that transcend earth, time, and space, such as, Where Will I Spend Eternity? These are the questions that demand the real Real Facts. Maybe if I looked deeper for these types of answers, I’d spend more time thinking about the stuff that really matters.

Don’t get me wrong. I mean, Real Fact #132: A crocodile cannot move its tongue, is all good and well, and it may serve me if I ever find myself in jeopardy some day in the Amazon, or if I’m ever on Jeopardy. But when it comes to the big picture, a more real fact that might actually help me is something like this: real Real Fact #1: I Am Going To Die.

Hmmm. That might give me pause. If I’m lucky, that realization will get me to thinking about how I want to live, before the fact actually becomes a reality. Here’s another one: real Real Fact #2: My Life Is Not About Me. Uh, whaddya mean my life is not about me? If it’s not about me, then what is it about? Or more specifically, who is it about?

Pondering life’s great mysteries, and the great mystery that is each one of us, is a deep internal struggle. (It’s far easier to marvel at Real Fact #127: A hummingbird’s heart beats 1,400 times a minute). But it is time well spent. Especially while throwing back a nice, ice cold Snapple.

 
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The Author : Chris Cabrera
Chris Cabrera has a wife and two offspring and writes from Los Angeles.
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