Busted Halo

Most dating and relationships books, columns and shows won’t go near issues of faith. Author, professor and speaker Dr. Christine B. Whelan assumes faith has some role, and tackles even the toughest questions.

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December 28th, 2009

New Years and Still Single?

You're not alone. Some strategies and ideas for change.

 
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NYE.ALONE.INSIDEA new CatholicMatch.com poll has given us some data to prove what we already know: The holidays are a tough time to be single. Among more than 3,700 online CatholicMatch users polled in the December survey, 40% said that Christmas was the roughest time of the year to be unhitched… with New Year’s Eve a close second with 32% putting it in the number one “ugh” slot.

“I think all holidays are bad without someone special to share them with, but I have my family for most of them,” reported Michelle-407188. “I would have to say the worst is New Years. New Years is for being with close friends! It is way more fun to share it with someone special than alone!”

Women were slightly more likely to vote their solo New Year’s as most depressing – 35% of women compared with 28% of men – and the older you were, the worse it seemed to watch the ball drop without someone to smooch at the end.

According to CatholicMatch.com results, respondents vented about the awkward midnight kiss and the lack of partnership entering into a new year. “Everyone is paired off and dressed up,” Denise-464246 wrote. “Sitting at home with my bottle of sparkling cider is boring – even if I put on my nice PJs.”

My husband and I will smooch in the New Year together after dinner with a few close friends this year, but lemme tell ya, I know about solo New Year’s Eves. Indeed, that’s the secret reason why I hosted so many parties over the years: For five years running—all through my New York City single days—I’d host enormous (I’m talking need-to-repaint-the-walls afterward kind of big) parties at my apartment. Not because I was a particularly giving person. No. I just wanted to see whom I might meet along the way! (One year, as the clock began to strike midnight, I may have been heard shouting “kisses for the hostess!” in the vicinity of a particularly handsome man, but I’ll deny all of it.)

If you’re ringing in the New Year solo this year, try to get with a larger group of friends and head out to a party or local bar. There will be other singles there, too, and who knows who you might meet. Or try online dating: It’s going to be a New Year’s Resolution for many to get online to find a good match.

But single or married, engaged or having relationship problems, I wish you blessings and new joy for 2010. I pray this new year, this new decade is one of love, laughter and happiness for us all.

My motto for 2010 is “With God, all things are possible.” I’m full of hope and anticipation. As you think through your New Year’s resolutions, come up with your own personal motto and email me at puresex@bustedhalo.com

Happy New Year!

 
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The Author : Christine B. Whelan
Dr. Christine B. Whelan is an author, professor and speaker. She and her husband, Peter, and their dictator cats, Chairman Meow and Evita Purron, live in Pittsburgh. Her book "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women" is available in stores or at the Halo Store.
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Please note that the editorial staff reserves the right to not post comments it deems to be inappropriate and/or malicious in nature, as well as edit comments for length, clarity and fairness.
  • Sara

    What I would really like to know is, is it really that much better to “have someone special to kiss after the ball drops”? I am single and 25, and sure, NYE was sort of lonely, but one reason I am still single is I don’t think a relationship is a blissful cure-all! If you just had a fight or something the last thing you’d want to do is cuddle around on NYE! I think both single people and married people have hard times and fun times, and it’s not like married is just de facto better. So maybe the “positive change” some people need for the new year is not to join catholicmatch, but to become more comfortable with who they are by serving others!

    I always enjoy your work, Christine!! Very thought provoking!

  • Joe

    I think that this article is more intended to help than to be a negative spin on the single life. I think that the delivery could be better and more broad given that developing a core social group as you get older is not so easy, and most of us have used on-line dating to varying degrees of luck.

  • Christine

    Jessica and Kristy M, hang in there! And even if you don’t find “the one” online, just getting out there helps.

    And Chris, for more specific advice about how to meet people, talk about tough issues on a date, etc. do a few searches in the archive of this column: http://www.bustedhalo.com/author/christine-b-whelan/ I’ve been writing it for nearly five years now–single, engaged and married! In particular, here are a few of my favorite dating advice pieces: http://www.bustedhalo.com/features/pure-sex-pure-love-turn-your-cablight-on/ and http://www.bustedhalo.com/features/pure-sex-pure-love-30/

  • Chris

    I fail to see how this article is in any way helpful. It is so easy for married people to look upon us poor, lonely singles and dispense the most empty platitudes of ‘Oh, I’ve been there’ – how difficult those years of parties must have been for you! And such advice as ‘go out’ or ‘try online dating’ – purely revolutionary! How did all the single people ever survive before these 8 paragraphs of wisdom? Clearly, with God, all things truly are possible – including this getting cleared for publication.

  • Kristy M.

    Thanks for the wonderful well timed article Christine! I just might think about joining CatholicMatch.com myself…time for some positive change in the New Year, right?!? :)

  • Jessica

    Why is just as I start to get all Debbie Downer about spending another NYE single, this article pops up on my twitter feed? Love it!

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