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Misheard During Mass: Parents Share Their Kids’ Funniest Church Responses

Brett recently found his childhood religious education assignments and recalls how he thought the Our Father began, “Our Father, go-kart in heaven” while growing up. Father Dave invites listeners to share the prayers or religious phrases that their kids have misheard.

He begins by sharing some responses from our Facebook fan forum. Michelle thought the Mass response “thanks be to God” was actually “thanks, speed of God” while growing up. Lorraine shares how her granddaughter thought everyone was singing “lasagna in the highest” instead of “Hosanna in the highest.”

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Other listeners share hymns they misheard growing up, including Paul who misheard a lyric in “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.” He says, “When it got to the line ‘God and sinners reconciled,’ I thought it was ‘God and sinners, Frankenstein.’” Julie shares, “My middle granddaughter thought that ‘responsorial psalm’ was ‘response to the Orioles song’ since they live in Maryland.”

Listener Judy recalls how a friend’s little brother used to think the Hail Mary began, “Hail Mary, full of grapes, Dolores Whitney.” Father Dave and Brett remark that, while those aren’t the right words, Mary was the impetus of Jesus’ first miracle where he turned water into wine.

During the Lamb of God, Jim says he used to think we said, “grant us peas” instead of “grant us peace.” He jokes, “I’m just waiting for the miracle of the peas raining from the rafters one day.” Krista also shares how kids at her church thought the final Latin response “dona nobis pacem” was actually “don’t ya know he’s watchin’.”

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Other listeners shared embarrassing moments of their kids asking inopportune things at Mass. Regarding her priest, Melanie shares, “We were sitting [at Mass]…my daughter was maybe 4 years old, and she said, ‘Can’t we just pay this guy so we can go home?’” Listener Robin recalls trying to make a good impression after moving to a new church and Catholic school. She says, “My youngest points to the crucifix on the wall and says, ‘Who’s that guy, mom?’ It was so embarrassing.” 

Finally, Mary says, “Our two youngest [kids] hear me listening to you on the radio. So they hear Father Dave, but the pastor at our parish is named Father Dan; they get you two confused. So every time they see Father Dan after church, they’re like, ‘Hi Father Dave!” She also shares that, while listening to the show, sometimes her son asks his mom to “turn down Father Dave” so he can play quietly. Father Dave quips, “It fits in with my life here in religious community. People say, ‘Can we turn Dave down so that we can just quietly watch TV or pray?’”