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Kimberly Hahn on Fostering Faithful Marriages


Author, speaker, wife, and mother, Kimberly Hahn chats with Father Dave about her Bible study book, “Chosen and Cherished: Biblical Wisdom for Your Marriage.” 

Kimberly shares that her study is based on Proverbs 31. “This is the only passage of Scripture that is written by a woman. She’s giving her wonderful son, who is a king, critical things to look for in a future wife. She’s talking about someone who is going to make a difference in his life and kingdom. She says that charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. So, to value above all where her faith commitment is.”

LISTEN: A Conversation With Dr. Scott Hahn

In her Bible study, Kimberly covers practical aspects of marriage as well. “I discuss trust. I try to unpack trust in terms of our thoughts, words, and deeds. And how we can grow in faithfulness, because we often reduce faithfulness down to whether I commit adultery or not. It’s more complex than that. How do we honor our spouse and the various things that we think about in developing our prayer life? Do we speak words of encouragement and understanding and forgiveness, or do we withhold those?”

“We must look at our actions as well. Are we guarding that relationship? I try to get very specific about that, especially because I think a lot of people are more tempted toward an emotional type of affair. They could say, ‘I’ve never touched him. He’s never touched me.’ And yet, they will linger over texts. They will save emails or photos or little gifts that are passed. And they’re allowing a lack of faithfulness to begin to grow. Especially if there are challenges at home. If you’re not communicating well, you don’t feel respected. And then this other person at work or a neighbor, maybe a close friend begins to get too close. That’s just one area that I try to go into a lot of detail and bring a lot of other scriptures so that you can evaluate if you’re practicing faithfulness. Faithfulness is a fruit of the Spirit. As we grow in our faith life, the Spirit’s going to deepen our faithfulness more and more.”

WATCH: Sacraments 101: Marriage

Kimberly also reflects on the meaning of wedding vows. “I have three children who are married and I’m always struck watching them say their vows to each other, because they have no idea what they’re promising, but that’s the point, because we’re inviting our Lord to be the one who is taking our words as vows and adding the grace of the Sacrament.”